Repressed
by WiccaChick98
Summary: Rated T, almost M. Contains adult situations, but nothing overly explicit. A story written entirely in the perspective of a certain favorite character of mine as he deals with whatever life has to throw at him. Slightly AU but not really. BenXTory
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone! I've been writing this story for the past nine months, and can say that I'm proud of it. I'm not quite finished yet- I still have fourteen chapters to write, but I've been working hard. This is a bit of an arc for a certain favorite character of mine. Well it started out that way, and then it kind of took control and wrote itself.  
>I'd like to personally thank Virls1o1 and Viralsisamazing for helping me so much.<br>Without further ado, on with the story!**

Chapter 1

"So, it's been a week since we've last seen each other, Mr. Blue," Nancy said, jotting something down on her clipboard. That damn clipboard. Sometimes I wondered if she actually wrote anything down on it, or if she just wanted people to think she was busy at work. Of course, she used it to prescribe drugs for me, but I think that's the only legitimate thing she did with it.

"Yeah." I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was plain and boring, much like the light gray walls adorned with various certificates whose authenticity was questionable to me. She herself was perched on a dull blue chair while I stood as close to the door as possible. I still had forty-five minutes that I had to endure.

She looked at me over the top of her glasses and frowned, pointing her pen at the couch. "Won't you sit down? You still have a while before your session's over." When I hesitated, she sighed. "We've been through this. I know you feel trapped right now. You want to stay as close to an exit as you can, in case you need to run away." I hated those words. They were so weak. "But you're safe here. And until you can accept that, I will be patient."

_Only because you're getting paid to._ I stayed at the door and stared at the wall behind her. Nancy shook her head and scribbled something down. Again. The clock ticking and her pen on the paper were the only real noises in the room. I _hated_ it here. _Hated_ it. This whole thing was so messed up. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be out on _Sewee_, fishing, or out with Tory and the guys. Every _tick-tock-tick_ put me more on edge. Made me ready to scream. Or punch the walls. Or knock over that stupid bookcase. There was no personality here. No photos, no drawings, absolutely nothing. It was like being in Solitary, but worse.

"So are you sleeping okay?" Nancy asked.

_Sure, if you mean getting plagued by nightmares_. I nodded.

"You've been taking the sleeping pills I gave you?"

_Not a chance. _Then _how would I wake up?_ No response.

She adjusted her glasses. "You're very smart, Ben. We both know that. So tell me how you think that not doing anything is going to solve your problems?"

"I have no problems," I snapped without thinking.

Nancy arched her eyebrows and sat back. "Is that so? And what would make you feel that way?"

"Everything's fine now," I said as flippantly as possible.

"How so?"

I glowered at the carpeting.

"Ben."

"We're friends again," I grumbled.

"You mean..." The sound of her flipping through her papers. "Tory. She forgave you?"

I nodded again.

"Well that's very good, Ben. Tell me about the occasion." When I stayed silent, she clicked her tongue and wrote again. "You're _still_ keeping things from me? I'm here to help you, Ben. You need to believe that. Have you been meditating?"

She'd apparently done some research on Native American meditation techniques to try and 'connect' with me. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried them, but they never worked. I was a doer, not a thinker. Which had gotten me into this mess in the first place. My stupid tendency to not consider everything.

"What about your journal?" _Nope._ "Talking to the sea?" She had also suggested I go out on my boat and pour my heart out to the ocean. I hadn't done that, either. Couldn't find the time. "How about your guitar? Have you been playing? Music is a very good outlet for emotions that you couldn't otherwise communicate."

I'd heard _that_ speech at least fifty times. "I know."

She looked partially relieved that I was talking again. "So tell me, are you having any more bad dreams?"

I stiffened. How could she know? I never said a word to her about them.

"Your mother's very concerned for you. So is your father. You're not talking to them any more. Why not?"

_Well, look where that's gotten me. They just flock back to you and tell you everything like little spies._

She grew quiet, probably thinking of a list of drugs to prescribe me, including a truth serum. "I heard about the incident at the police station. They suspected you. I know that can't be easy. Especially because Tory was there, too. How did she handle it?"

I shrugged.

"Did she try to defend you?"

Another shrug.

"Ben, stop this nonsense." I looked up in surprise at the sharp tone to her voice. "This has been going on for too long. Almost six months with almost no sign of improvement. I can give you all the medicine in the world, give you every single piece of advice I possess, come up with thousands of activities to help you, but none of this will work unless you actually make the effort to try. Ben, do you even want to get better?"

"I'm fine," I barked.

She shook her head. "No, Ben, you're not. You have acute PTSD and minor depression. Both of which will cause serious problems in the future if-"

"If what?" She'd broken me and now the words were flying out of my mouth before I could stop them. "If I don't keep showing up? If my parents don't blow every single dime they have on me? If I don't shove pills down my throat? I don't belong here. _Crazy people_ belong here. I am _not_ crazy!" I was done. I reached for the doorknob, but what she said next stopped me cold.

"If you walk out that door, Ben, you'll be arrested."

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!  
>-WiccaChick98<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"You and I both know, Ben. That deal you made with the judge. No charges if you got help. And you'd have to attend weekly meetings until I say you're well. Not attending would violate your probation."

I growled and slumped against the wall. "Fine."

"So let's continue. Who do you think you should do this for?"

"What are you talking about?"

Nancy crossed her legs, all business. "You obviously can't get better for yourself alone. You need to think of someone. An inspiration, if you will. Someone who misses you. Someone who depends on you." When she saw my incredulous look, she added, "Well, what about someone _you_ need? Someone _you_ depend on? Get better for _them_, not you. Then they can grow to depend on you, too."

I snorted.

"What if you did this for your mother?" When I said nothing, she said, "Your father? Your friends?" Her eyes narrowed in exasperation. "What about Tory, Ben? Why don't you do this for her?"

My wince was involuntary. I couldn't help it. I thought back to the _last_ time I'd done something for her. How terribly that had turned out. She wouldn't speak to me. She shut me out. She didn't even come to my birthday party.

Too bad Nancy noticed. "Ben, good people sometimes do bad things. It's okay to mess up occasionally. It's human. These things happen."

_More often than you think, Doc. But I got someone _killed. _How can you even begin to say that it's okay?_

"Ben, you said Tory had forgiven you. That's a relief, right? You two are friends again."

"Yeah."

"Is she still oblivious?"

I shrugged. _She knows I like her. I'd told her as much. But I don't think she knows-_

Couldn't finish the thought.

Nancy smiled then. "That's typical for someone with her background. She's afraid to lose anyone else, so she shuts people out of her heart. You two are very alike in that manner. But you've already succeeded in getting back in. And maybe now she'll let you in a little more. I don't think you should be afraid to take the risk. Don't give up on her yet."

_Never._

"You both need to work on trusting each other. Try to get close to her again. Make an effort. If you're friends again, she'll probably be grateful for the chance."

I shrugged. How _did _I get closer to her? Ask her out? 'Accidentally' run into her so we had no choice but to talk?

I remembered the last time we were alone, outside the police station. The way she hugged me. That kiss...

I couldn't help the smile that threatened to tug at my lips. But thinking back to it always made me feel... better. Until I remember that I hadn't returned the gesture, despite the fact that I'd wanted to for so long. I was so shocked, I couldn't do anything other than stand there and feel the soft firmness of her mouth as it pressed against mine...

I was snapped out of my stupor at the sound a timer. Five minutes to go. Then I was free. I felt eyes on me and turned to see Nancy staring at me. "You just smiled, Ben. What did you think of?"

_Snap out of it. You're in public._ I pasted a scowl on my face and shrugged. Just five more minutes. I could survive.

She looked at me knowingly. "Okay, fine. Keep it to yourself. But use that thought as your motivation. If it's of someone, do it for them. If it's of a specific event, use that as an inspiration. Work for it to happen again."

Then the timer went off and I reached for the doorknob, thankful to be getting out.

"Ben, wait." She handed me a slip of paper. "You should be almost out of your antidepressant."

"You said that was the last refill," I objected, not taking it.

"Only if you showed signs of improvement."

I just walked out of the door, Nancy on my heels. My mom was in the waiting room and stood when she saw me. "You ready, Sweetie?" She looked over my shoulder and frowned. "Go wait in the car, okay? I'll be right out." I left, but stayed within hearing range. "How is he?" she asked Nancy.

A sigh. "Nothing's changing. Ms. Blue, I'm doing everything I can. He's just not motivated at all. I'm beginning to wonder if he's antisocial at all-?"

"No," Mom said firmly. "No one in the family is. _My baby_ is not antisocial."

"Ms. Blue, there are mild cases which can develop over time if he has been exposed to enough trauma. When did you and your husband break up?"

"It was over ten years ago... Dr. Conway, do you seriously think that _that_ could have an impact on...?"

"It's possible. How often did the two of you fight?"

"We always fought after he was in bed."

"He could have overheard you."

A shuddering breath from Mom. "This could be _my_ fault...?"

"It's nobody's fault, Ms. Blue. These things happen. How is Cain doing?"

_Cain. _I hadn't heard that name in ages. Anxiously, I waited for her response. "He's fine. Florida is really doing a great job at shaping him into such a mature young man."

"And remind me, why didn't you send Ben away, as well?"

I'd heard this a thousand times and mouthed the words with her. "Cain was offered the scholarship, not Ben. Besides, he loves it here. Cain never did."

"But maybe an environmental change is just what he needs," Nancy said grimly.

I could just see Mom shaking her head. "No, no. I miss Cain enough as it is. If Ben left, too, then neither Tom nor I could take it."

"But Ms. Blue, just look at all of the trouble that has occurred here. All of the trouble it's caused for Ben. Maybe it's for the best."

I was confused. She'd just gotten through telling me not to give up on Tory and _now_ she was telling my mom to ship me off to boarding school? I'd just gotten out of Bolton and was enjoying the freedom of jeans and t-shirts. I was not about to give it all up for some hoity-toity prep school with Cain.

Mom paused. Then, slowly, she said, "I don't think he'd like it there. But Cain's coming in later today, so I'll see what he says about the school, and _maybe_ I'll _begin_ to consider it. But absolutely no promises."

My mind reeled. _Cain_ was coming in? Why didn't I know about this? When was she planning to tell me?

"Of course not. It was only a suggestion. But, Ms. Blue, can you make sure Ben takes his medication? I have a feeling he's not doing it."

A sigh. "He's so stubborn. He got that from both sides. Well, I'd better get going. And I'll stand over him as he takes that pill if I need to. See you next Tuesday, Dr. Conway."

I dashed out to the car and leaned against it just as Mom came outside. She smiled at me, as if everything was okay, and we both got in.

"So, did you make any progress?" Mom asked as we sped down the highway.

I grunted and stared straight ahead. She sighed, checking her mirrors when we got to a red light.

"I know you hate it, Benji," she said softly. "I get it. I really do. But you don't have a choice. Can't you just _try_ and do some of the things the doctor suggested? You and I both know that you want to get better, too."

"You say that as if something's wrong with me, Ma," I grumbled.

"Ben-"

"Why didn't you tell me _he_ was coming?"

She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. "I was going to. I promise. But then with everything that's been going on, I just kind of forgot."

I snorted. "He's not staying with me."

"He's staying at your father's."

"But I'm supposed to stay there," I said. Then I got it. "Wait, you don't seriously think sharing a room is going to make us get along? No."

"Benji-"

"No, Ma. I won't do this. You can't make me."

She ignored me after that and kept driving. When we arrived at the dock, she grabbed my bag and handed it to me, along with my pills. "Since you were obviously eavesdropping, I'll assume you know what I'll do if I find you're not taking these."

I took them wordlessly.

"Ben, you know I'm only doing this because I love you, and I want you to..." She looked away. "I want you back. I want that boy who would watch me cook until he knew the recipe by heart. The one who brought home crafts from school. The boy who would do concerts after dinner with his guitar." That was when I heard the tears in her voice. "The boy who talked to his mother and knew that her affection and love would always be there, even if he did the wrong thing."

I looked away. Guilt tripping me. This woman was evil. "Ma," I sighed.

She hugged me. "The ferry's here, Benji. Take care. And try not to kill him, okay?"

I nodded and stepped on. Dad and Mom eyed each other carefully before he turned to me. "Hey, Bud. You been okay?"

"I'm fine."

The ride was pretty quiet. Neither of us said a word. Neither of us wanted to. When we finally docked, I lept off and jogged straight for the bunker, already coming up with plans to turn it into a temporary bedroom while Cain stayed.

I was almost there when I heard shouting. I chased the noise until I found its source. It was Tory. She was fighting someone. Hi and Shelton were there, too, but made no move to stop it. _Must be Chance._

"Who are you," she yelled, "and what have you done with Ben!?"

_My mistake. It's just Cain._ I decided to enjoy the show and leaned against a tree. Tory was tough. She could take him down easily. She had him pinned by the wrists and was straddling his waist. He leaned up and whispered something to her, and she slapped him.

That got my attention. She wouldn't have struck him if he hadn't said something to offend her. And knowing Cain...

He laughed and, using her surprise to his advantage, flipped the two of them so he was on top, much like Tory had been seconds ago. Then he leaned in towards her.

That was when I acted.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I dropped my bag and dashed down the hill and barreled into Cain, knocking him over. We rolled for several moments, trying to get a hold on each other, until I had successfully pinned him against the ground, fist raised. I was ready to kill him.

He stared up at me, shocked. Then he grinned.

"Great to see you, too, Benny Boy."

"Ben!" I scrambled off of him at the sound of that voice, only to be attacked by someone. A redheaded someone with green eyes. And she seemed mad. She jumped me, and I stumbled backwards, catching her easily but fighting to keep my balance. "What's your middle name?"

"You don't _know_ my middle name, Tory," I said. With that, she relaxed.

"So it really _is_ you this time." Then she hugged me, and I hugged her back, tightening my arms around her. It felt good to have her with me.

"Well, Benny Boy, are you going to introduce me to this fiery babe, or not?"

I pulled away and walked up to Cain, who looked prepared to take a punch. So I kicked the back of his knee and he went down. "Don't call me that, and if I hear you talking about her like that again, you'll lose the ability to breathe without some _serious _medical assistance."

Hi and Shelton were still staring in shock. Cain stood and clapped me on the back.

"Fair enough. You win yet again, baby bro."

"Don't act like I've never threatened you," I snapped, shrugging his arm off.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about the threat." His lips curled up in a devious smile, and I raised my arm to punch him again.

"Whoa, hold up a minute!" Tory walked in between us. "Ben, _what _did he just call you?"

Cain changed his expression from smarmy to mock betrayal. "You mean, you didn't tell them about me? After all we've been through?" Tory stared at him like he'd dropped down from Mars. He sighed. "Benjamin here is my little brother."

"I'm older than you are," I growled.

He simply shrugged. "Debateable."

"Fact. A six and a half minute fact."

Hi finally joined the mix. "Oh yeah," he said. "You two are _definitely_ related. No one else argues like that. And you two do look a lot alike..."

Tory looked like she was about to faint. "Why didn't you tell me you had a twin?"

I looked away. "He wasn't worth mentioning. Trust me."

Cain scoffed. "_Puh-leeze_. You only hide me from your friends so they don't choose me over you." He leaned towards Tory and stage-whispered, "He's _so_ jealous of me."

She shook her head, looking back and forth between the two of us. "If you two didn't look the same, I never would've believed it..."

He and I glanced at each other concurrently. "We don't look alike," I argued.

"Yeah. He's obviously the ugly one."

I raised a threatening fist, and he chuckled, raising his hands.

"Right, right, you're all macho now. I forgot. And there's absolutely _no way_ someone like _me,_ an all-star athlete for my school, could _possibly_ take you in a fight. It's not like I'd totally beat your ass or anything."

"No, you'll be the one begging for mercy while I tear your arm off and feed it to the sharks," I spat.

"Whoa, okay!" Tory, ever the peacekeeper, stepped in between us. "That's enough, both of you. So, um, what's your name, exactly?"

His chest swelled with pride, and he extended his hand.

_Oh, brother._

"I am Cain Alexander Blue, but you, my dear, may call me whatever you like."

Her mouth hardened, and her eyes began to glint mischieviously. "Well, I most certainly would take you up on that offer, but you see, what I'd love to call you is _far_ too vulgar and rude for someone of your... standing."

I smirked. Hi and Shelton were trying not to laugh. Cain was taken aback, and gazed at her strangely. Then he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled.

"Well, then, I guess I'm of no further use, since I do not take part in anything... _vulgar_, as you'd called it. I'll just go and get settled in. And maybe I'll see you around the island, Tory." He didn't even look over his shoulder as he called, "Oh, and Benny Boy, don't forget your bag! You left it up the hill!"

That son of a bitch. He made my blood boil. The way he looked at Tory... _No one_ can look at her like that. _Ever_. I was going to kill him tonight as he slept.

"Oh, Bubby!" Ruth Stolowitski called, making Hi wince. "It's supper time! Good food for my growing boy!"

Shelton teased him as they disappeared, but I didn't miss the knowing look he sent me before doing so.

"So," Tory said after the two dingnuts were long gone, "a long-lost twin, huh? Never thought about mentioning that tiny, insignificant detail to us?"

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Don't hate me, Tor. I just didn't think about it until now. Hell, he hadn't even crossed my mind until today, when I was told he was coming for a visit."

She frowned. "You two seem to have a lot of contempt towards each other, even for brothers."

"We never got along," I admitted.

Tory bit her lip, thinking. "Why not?"

I couldn't think of what to say. That he was the 'smart' one and always got the recognition? That _he_ got to go off to some fancy school and avoid the war at the homefront? That he stole Amanda Higgins from me in the first grade? _Well, that one wasn't a total loss. Puberty didn't treat her that nicely,_ I thought to myself and almost smiled at the memory. Almost. But I was already thinking of the real reason I couldn't stand him, why I'd beat him to a pulp without hesitation. Not that I'd tell Tory.

"He's just always been..." I struggled for the right words. "Away. And even as kids, we were always... I've always been the quiet one. And he was an attention whore. Still is. So he and I just fought a lot."

"Obviously." She looked over her shoulder. "Why'd you attack him like that if you knew who he was?"

I felt my face heat up. "I, uh, saw you slap him. What did he say to you, anyway?"

She shrugged, but I noticed the faintest trace of pink on her cheeks. "It's nothing, really. I just, um, when I had him pinned, he said that he enjoyed the position."

I glowered at the ground. Jackass. "You want me to kill him?" _Because I'm going to._

"No, don't waste your energy. You already knocked him over several times."

"But I didn't actually hurt him." _Yet._

She laughed. "His pride?"

"Maybe." I grabbed my bag off the ground and pocketed the bottle of pills before she noticed them. She couldn't know I was on a prescription. "It only affects him if he really wanted something. To him, this is all probably a game."

Tory sighed. "Sounds familiar. So, since he's staying with your dad, are you going back to your mom's?"

I shook my head. "Nah. I'll probably sleep in the bunker. My old man won't mind."

"Will you be okay?"

I risked a look at her. She seemed slightly concerned. "Why?"

"It's just that... with everything that's been going on, I just don't think anyone should really be alone right now."

"I'll be fine, Tory." We reached the bunker and stepped inside, enjoying the feeling of air conditioning.

"I know, but still." She sat down on the bench and leaned against the wall. "A brother. You have a brother."

I put my bag on the table and opened it, making sure I had everything. When my fingers came in contact with something metal, I pulled it out, curious. It was a key on a leather chain. But not just any key. The key to my guitar case. I hadn't touched that old thing in years, not since the eighth grade.

This was certainly Mom's doing. Trying to drop little hints. I shook my head and started to put it back, but thought twice and put it in my pocket instead, hiding my pills in the inner pouch. I wouldn't take them, no matter how much she threatened me. I knew she'd never be able to force me to take them, and my old man didn't listen to her anymore about anything, so she couldn't convince him to make me.

I closed the bag and placed it on the ground, then grabbed two water bottles from the mini fridge, handing one to Tory, who thanked me.

"How long are you going to be here?"

"A few weeks, I'm pretty sure." She made room for me, and I sat down next to her, trying to resist the urge to touch her. "Or until I decide that I can't be anywhere near that jackass."

"Cain or Hi?" she cracked. When I smiled, she looked down. "It gets kind of... lonely here sometimes."

I said nothing, not sure what to make of her statement. Was she just telling me that she missed hanging out with me, or something else? Possibly more?

She was quick to blush and stammer out, "I-I mean, the guys are cool and all, but they're not you." She was bright red now. "Um, that came out wrong. Hi's just a doofus and Shelton's... well, he and I never really hung out much alone anyway. And I, um, I miss the boat! Yeah, I miss going out on _Sewee_ and exploring the beach or swimming. Well, we've never actually gone swimming, per say, but I'd kind of like to and..." She bit her lip and put her head in her hands. I stared at her, dumbfounded. _Tory rambling? Has that ever _happened _before?_

After several moments of silence except for her softly whispering to herself, "Please kill me now," thinking I couldn't hear her, I hesitantly slid an arm around her tense form, pulling her close. She sighed and leaned into me, slowly removing her hands, closing her eyes.

I felt like I needed to say something, so I said, "I missed you too. And the boat," I added as an afterthought as an attempt to make her laugh. I wasn't as successful as I'd hoped, but I _did_ earn a small smile. "Actually, do you want to go out?"

"You mean, right now?"

"Yeah. On _Sewee._"

Her brows crinkled. I thought it was cute. "But don't you have to go and get your keys?"

"Nope." I held them up. "You really think I'd go anywhere without them?"

She stood, grabbing her shades off the shelf. "What're we waiting for, then? Let's go!"

I couldn't help but chuckle and follow her out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We raced each other to the docks, and I let her win by half of a second. She was lithe and built for speed, but my legs were much longer than hers and I'd been running and working out to burn off the extra energy since...

Shaking the thought away, I pulled off the tarp, untied to ropes holding her in, and climbed aboard, offering a hand to Tory to help her up. Then I sat down in my rightful seat, starting her up, feeling my shoulders relax when I heard the engine roar to life. One of the best sounds in the world.

"Ooh, do I need to leave the two of you alone for a few minutes?" Tory teased.

I pointed to the co-captain's seat, and she obeyed with a giggle. "Just watch the pro at work." I felt at ease here. At home.

"Yes, Captain Blue."

I shoved her playfully, then pulled out and drove for the first time in what felt like forever. The sea breeze felt so good on my face, and I could feel myself begin to smile, but only a little. I picked up speed and soon we were tearing through the ocean. I knew this area well. It was safe.

So we went fast.

The sky was the perfect shade of blue, not a cloud in sight. A good sign. It'd been a while since I'd had one. The sun was bright, but didn't affect us because it was to our left. I could smell the salt in the air and breathed deeply. _Yeah, it's been too long._

I looked over at Tory to see if she needed me to slow down, but didn't get the chance to ask her.

She'd taken off her shades and was standing up, hands on the windshield to balance herself. The wind was blowing her hair back behind her, reminding me of a wildfire. Her eyes were closed as she focused on the sensation, but I knew that if I slowed down, they'd open to reveal the stunning emerald green that made me weak every time I peered into them. A few of her freckles had faded as her skin adapted to the environment, leaving a small dusting on the bridge of her nose and a few along her cheekbones. And her lips... They were pulled back into that devastating smile as she laughed joyously. I couldn't help it. I stared at her as she took my breath away. And she wasn't even trying. I'd noticed that she had begun to wear makeup on a regular basis, but it never mattered. Not to me. It was when she was like _this_, completely natural and genuinely happy and looking so _free_ that made me see for the six-billionth time just how... beautiful she really was. It didn't take a fancy dress or jewelry or six different types of mascara to capture my attention. All it took was, well, _her._ I found myself beginning to once again accept it- not _that_ I cared, as I'd known that for a _long_ time, but the depth of my feelings.

I made myself look away and steer the boat around. Focusing on driving and enjoying that. We continued for quite a while before I docked again She and I climbed off and made our way towards the bunker, but she couldn't stop giggling. I didn't mind.

"That was so much fun," she said as we reached the door, still out of breath from the rush. "We need to do it more often."

"Yeah." Being out on the water had really helped me relax. "I missed it, too."

"Why did we ever stop?" She tried to fix her mass of tangles with no luck. "Oh, and Ben, stop trying not to smile."

I tried my best to give her a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

She shoved me playfully, turning the knob. "Don't lie. You loved it. So you shouldn't pretend to be so grumpy all of the time because we both know you're not that type, Tough Guy."

I rolled my eyes. "Ah, so you have seen through my ruse."

"Yup. And I have developed a natural resistance to _all_ of your tricks!"

"There are a few that I still have up my sleeve," I teased.

She grinned up at me, meeting my eyes. There were those twin emeralds that I could get lost in. And she was looking at me in such an inviting way. The smiles faded, and her lips parted slightly; her eyes ghosted down to my mouth, then darted back up. Her cheeks gained a faint tint to them as I found myself reaching for her hand. She entwined our fingers and stepped closer, leaning up. I was ready this time. I leaned down to meet her waiting lips.

"Hey you two, are you out or in?" Hi called, and we jumped apart like we'd been doing something illegal. Of course, we _could _do all kinds of illegal things and never get caught, but whenever we do anything that's actually okay, someone always finds us.

_So close,_ I thought to myself bitterly. _So close. If he'd only waited half a second longer then you'd _finally _be able to know..._

Tory straightened her clothes and smiled awkwardly at me before heading inside. Dragging my feet slightly, I followed her. Hi smirked at me, and I glowered at him with as much murder as possible. That stopped him.

I sat down on the bench as she leaned against the table. "So, Hi, what's so important that you had to interrupt us?"

He shrugged. "I figured that you guys wouldn't like it if you came in to find me here, or if the air escaped before you got in. But I guess we don't have to worry about that. Blue over there is making the room _much_ colder."

"You wanna go for a ride, Thickburger?" I asked. "I can tie you to the back of the boat if you want, and you won't have to bathe tonight either."

Hi puffed out his chest and stood up. "You wanna go, Blue?"

I stood up and crossed my arms, giving him a look. He sat back down. "I always forget that you're ballsier than I am." A smile. "Which I'm sure Tory-"

"Don't say it," she and I said at the same time. He arched an eyebrow but said nothing; he didn't have to. His smirk told us plenty.

Tory's phone went off suddenly, and she checked it. Then she groaned. "The she-devil wants me home." She eyed the two of us warily. "I'm afraid to leave the two of you alone."

"You scared I'll rough him up?" Hi beat his chest with his fists.

"I'll walk you home," I offered, standing. As we headed out, I heard a snicker and turned. "What?"

He shrugged. "I'm just afraid to leave the two of you alone together..."

I stepped towards him, but stopped. Sometimes there's one thing you can do to express your irritation without actually maiming those involved. I used that handy technique, flipping him off, before leaving.

Tory was waiting for me at the opening, and sighed as I joined her. "We can't kill him," she reminded me gently.

"I know," I said begrudgingly.

"But you can still intimidate and threaten him like you usually do. Make sure he knows who's in charge."

I shook my head. "He'll never accept that."

Her hand found mine again. "He does when it counts. From what I hear, you did pretty good when I was... gone."

The memory of that day wasn't pleasant. I tried to push it aside. "I just had to..." I tried. "I mean, you could've been..."

"I know." We reached her porch. "But I still think you handled yourself well, soldier." Her arms slid around my neck and she smiled.

"Oh, Tory! Honey, dinner's ready! Come on in!"

_This is just sad._

Tory growled in frustration, head dropping. "For the love of God," she mumbled. Then she pulled away. "I'd better go in. I'll see you tomorrow." She turned to leave, but stopped and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before dashing inside her house, shutting the door.

I stood there in shock for several seconds, fingers brushing where she'd kissed me. Before I could stop it, I felt myself grin.

**I'd like to thank everyone for reading. I'll be posting as often as I can in order to complete it before ****_Terminal_**** comes out in 31 days... And only 9 days until the short, ****_Shock_****.  
>I'm doing a happy dance right now.<br>-WiccaChick98**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I was heading back to the bunker when I got a text from Dad. He wanted me home for dinner. Said there were things we needed to discuss. Namely the asshole who decided to pop in for a spell.

"Look who finally decided to join the party," Cain said when I came in.

I remained silent and walked into the kitchen, where Dad was stirring the chili pot. He frowned into it, and I rolled my eyes.

"What'd you do this time?"

He chuckled. "I don't think I did anything wrong. Come here and tell me."

I tasted it and made a face. "You mistook the sugar for salt, I think. I told you to label them."

"I did."

Cain laughed. "It was too easy to switch 'em out. You never were that great of a cook, Pops. Why don't you stand aside and let the Momma's boy take over?"

I threw an oven mitt at him, and he ducked easily with a grin. "Seriously, though, Dad. Add some paprika and a touch of baker's chocolate."

He arched an eyebrow, but Cain went over to the cabinet, grabbing it and handing it over. "You're a dumbass, but I trust your cooking. You and Mom were good with that," he explained to me when Dad questioned why there was no snarky comment.

"Up yours, jockstrap."

Dad sighed and leaned back against the counter. "How about you just take over? I'll watch and maybe some of your talent will rub off on me."

"Funny." I added a pinch of the chocolate and a bit of paprika, then tasted again. "Cumin."

"Magic word, Benny?"

"_Now._"

Cain smiled. "Nice try. But you got it wrong. That's just what I'd expect from a dumbass like you."

I stiffened, but feigned from punching him. "You call _me_ a dumbass, but you can only come up with one insult?"

"Will you two ever get along?" Dad asked, retrieving the cumin and placing it in my hand.

"Doubt it." I added it and tasted. A little sweeter than usual, but not bad. "I've done all I can."

We ate in silence before Dad cleared his throat. "So about you two-"

"Don't worry, Dad," I interrupted him. "I've got it. I've made other arrangements for sleeping."

Cain snickered. "You mean with that babe from earlier?"

"Can it, Manwhore."

The dishes rattled as he shot up, his look pure murder. I stood, too. We'd just see how good of a fighter I was now that I'd had practice.

"Benjamin! Cain! Both of you, stop it!" Dad snapped, hitting the table with his fist. "I am _not_ afraid to discipline you two! You may be seventeen, but you're still under _my _house, and will obey by _my_ rules as long as you stay here."

Neither of us moved at all. It took so much energy not to flare and beat his sorry ass until he cried for mercy.

"Can we _please_ at least _pretend_ to enjoy dinner as a family?" The only thing that snapped us out of it was the slight shake in his voice at the word _family_. Without a word, we complied, and Cain pasted on a big, fake, cheesy grin.

"Would you get me another bowl of your _delicious_ chili, brother whom I love more than anything in the world?" he asked, batting his eyes. I took his bowl and stood. "Oh, but could you please hold the rat poison this time? It had a rather unpleasant kick."

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Sure, biological sibling who I will tolerate for the sake of saving what little sanity remains in this household." And then, "How about arsenic instead?"

"Ben!"

"What?" I filled his bowl at the stove. "It was just a joke, Dad. And he made one, too."

He gritted his teeth. "So anyway, about you staying here, Cain. You can sleep in the guest room that I set up. It still has some old junk in it, but I pushed most of it to the side. You can move the rest if you need to. And we _will_ treat each other with respect here, okay?"

The rest of dinner was painfully awkward, and I was relieved when I was finally done and could leave.

"Why don't you two clear the table?" Dad suggested. "And then maybe we could watch a movie or something? I just got Netflix hooked up."

Deep down, I felt bad for my old man. He didn't know what to do with a family, let alone twin teenagers who hated each other, and was trying so desperately to connect. I took pity on him and said, "Why not?"

"Movies are _so_-" I slapped the back of his head when Dad wasn't looking. He glowered at me, then rolled his eyes. "Sounds like a cool idea, I guess."

Dad left to get it started up, and I took the dishes while Cain filled the sink. "A movie?" he growled.

"It's important to him, Meathead."

"I have a date tonight, though."

I turned to him. "You're kidding. You _just_ got in and you already have a date?"

"Jealous?"

"No. I just feel so sorry for her."

He splashed me with water, and I whipped him with the towel. "For your information, she's back at my school. Totally crazy for me. Hot, too. I figured I might as well have some fun." A quirk of the brow. "If you know what I mean."

"You're a pig."

"At least I'm getting some."

"But your hand doesn't count."

He sprayed me with the hose. I shoved him into the counter and pulled my arm back, ready to kill him.

"Hey, you two just about done? I have it cued up!"

I took a deep breath and let my arm drop, only to grab him by the collar. "Just you wait until he's not here for you to hide behind." With that, I turned and went upstairs.

"Why's your shirt all wet, Bud?"

I looked down as if just now noticing it. "Huh. I guess I splashed it. I'll go change." I jogged to my room, pulling off my wet t-shirt and putting on a dry one. As I began to leave, something behind my closet door caught my eye. I closed it and stared at the old worn out case. My fingers began to itch slightly with a strange sense of longing. But I refrained and left the room before I lost control. _Those days are over,_ I told myself. _They've been over since the eighth grade. Remember what happened._

Cain and Dad looked up from the couch upon my entry, and I plopped down in my chair. We watched in complete silence. I didn't trust myself to speak; I'd probably end up snapping at the idiot I'm forced to call my brother.

"So you'd said you have other plans for tonight?" Dad inquired when it was over.

I nodded. "I'll pitch a tent. It's a nice night out, after all."

"Pitch a tent with your _girlfriend_?" Cain said. "Talk about pity."

"Girlfriend?" Dad looked in between the two of us, confused. "You mean you and Tory _finally_ worked it out?"

I felt my ears burn and clenched my fists. But I said nothing. I didn't mind them thinking that we were together, instead of the awkward mess we were in actuality.

Dad chuckled. "I'd always wondered when you two would swallow your pride and admit it. How long has this been going on?"

I shrugged. _Six weeks, five days, four hours since she first kissed me._ I dodged the rest of the questions and decided to go down to the bunker to get settled in for the night.

**So what did you think?  
>Soon to come:<br>A visit from an old friend**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

A shrill beeping noise woke me up. I groaned and rolled over, but it wouldn't stop. With a curse, I gave in and sat up, looking for the source. It was the computer. I trudged over to it, and saw that there was a new video message. Curious, I opened it, and stumbled back when a face appeared on the screen.

_His_ face.

"Hey," he said with that stupid giggle. "Guess who got out of prison? Well, anyway, since you're not answering, I suppose I'll just tell you now. I've decided to get back at you for betraying me like you did. And that damn bitch who somehow thwarted _my _genius plan. And it's not nearly as satisfying if I don't enjoy it, right? I'm sure you understand. You and I _are_ a lot alike. We think the same way. We look at the bigger picture. And when we hit, we hit _hard_. So I'm sure you'll really appreciate how I'm killing two birds with one stone." Another giggle. I was gripping the chair for dear life. "By only killing one of the birds. And who do you suppose _that_ would be?"

"No," I whispered. "_No._"

"Bitter, bitter irony, Ben. _I've_ got your girl now. It really is a shame. You two just made up, too." He sighed. "Oh well. Life's a bitch." Then the camera turned off, and the audio only remained on long enough for me to hear the bloodcurdling shriek.

"_TORY!_" I screamed, racing out of the bunker. I knew exactly where they were. He'd taken her to the garage he and I used to hang out at. It was where he'd 'come up' with the idea of The Game.

I hopped on the boat and started it up, speeding to the island. Water splashed on board, soaking me, but I didn't care. I had to find her. I was _going_ to find her. Because if anything happened to her, I wouldn't be able to-

_No. Don't think about it. Just focus on finding her and making sure she's safe. Then kill that sick bastard once and for all._

I jumped off the boat as soon as I parked it, not bothering to tie it up. I heard a crash but ignored it. Tory meant more to me than that boat anyway.

**SNAP**

Shaking my head sharply, I forced myself to get used to the new sensation. Then I ran to the garage, tearing open the fence with my hands. The metal stabbed my palms, ripping at the flesh. I felt blood trickle down my fingers, warm and slightly sticky. I gritted my teeth against the pain and kept running. With my enhanced speed, it took almost no time to get to the building. I could smell her blood and my heart stopped at how much of it there seemed to be.

He was going to die.

I pulled on the door, but it wouldn't budge, no matter how hard I yanked. There were no windows. I couldn't get in.

I roared in frustration and beat the door with my fists. "Let me _IN!_" Suddenly, I heard a squeak. _The hinges._ I kicked that side of the door until they finally gave in and I busted my way inside. "Tory!" I yelled, fully prepared to launch myself at him.

There was no one here. The room was empty. But they'd been here. I could smell them. I charged the other door that led to a smaller area. What I saw made me double over and empty the contents of my stomach onto the floor.

The table had been pushed into the middle of the room, and bloody rope lay on the floor, along with a knife. The table itself was drenched in the crimson liquid, and I knew exactly whose it was.

I was too late. He'd moved her.

But I would find her. I always would. I tried to follow her trail as it led to a back door. I shoved it open and burst out, but swore profusely as it began to rain. Thunder boomed and lightning crashed as I searched the island desperately for any sign of where she might be. Finally, I spotted a small splotch of blood on the ground. It directed me to another, and another, until I realized that they were in Lab 6.

It took no time to get inside. As soon as I entered, I heard her scream and took off in that direction. The walls and floors blurred as I rounded corners and sprinted stairs. Her shrieks got louder and louder, but I still couldn't find her.

After an eternity of looking, I found a small, hidden staircase and dashed up. The screams grew to a deafening volume, then stopped abruptly. My stomach dropped to my feet and I found it hard to breathe.

_She could be-_

"No," I growled to myself. "She's not gone."

At last, I arrived at a locked door. The stench of blood was the strongest here. She was behind this door. I knew it. Since I was flaring, snapping the lock was easy, but it still wouldn't budge. I threw myself against it, shoving as hard as I could until the hinges groaned in protest.

A high-pitched giggle behind me made me spin around. He was standing there with a gun. "Nice try, Blue. It requires a thumbprint to open, which I'll never give you." The Gamemaster threw back his head and cackled. "You'll never find her."

I attacked him and beat his face with my fists at an almost comical speed. Blood gushed out of his nose and mouth, and I heard the gun go off. A fierce pain erupted in my side, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. He hurt Tory. _My _Tory. Death wasn't a gracious enough punishment for a sick bastard like him. I stood and grabbed his collar, lifting him up and shoving him into the wall repeatedly. He spit at me and clawed at my face with his nails; I threw him back onto the floor, kicking him in the stomach as hard as I could. He rolled out of the way and pointed the gun again. I ducked just as he fired, barreling into him. I snatched the pistol and hit him with it, then threw it over my shoulder.

"What did you do to her?" I screamed.

Despite the amount of damage I was causing him, he laughed. "Wouldn't you love to know. I'll never tell."

"I'll kill you!" I snarled, hitting his head against the wall.

"You put up quite the fight, Blue. Now, why bother trying to find her anyway? She hates you. It _is_ all your fault, remember?"

"_**SHUT UP**__!_" I roared, picking him up and throwing him across the room. His head broke the light fixture before he slumped to the ground and didn't get up. He was dead.

I dragged his body to the keypad, pressing his thumb into it. The light turned green and I heard a click. I raced to the door and yanked it open.

"Tory, I'm here-" The words died on my lips as I collapsed to my knees. The room was soaked in blood, and several surgical items were laying around. But other than that, nothing.

She wasn't here.

She was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"No," I whispered, my voice cracking. Then it rose to a cry. "_**NO!**_"

"Ben," a voice said urgently. "Ben, Ben, open your eyes."

They snapped open at the sound of her, disbelieving. But there she was, hovering over me, safe and... concerned.

I sat up quickly and stared at her for several seconds. Then my arms shot around her and I crushed her to me, pressing my face into her, inhaling her scent. She hugged me back, running a hand through my hair.

"Shh, it's okay," she said softly. "I'm here."

I closed my eyes again. "He had you," I heard myself say. "He'd kidnapped you and sent me a video. I tried to find you but I couldn't and then I heard your screams and I looked everywhere but I still couldn't find you. I could only hear you-." My voice broke and tears escaped from my eyes before I could stop them. "I'm so sorry. It was never supposed to- I'm _so_ sorry, Tory. I promise I'll never let him touch you again. I-"

"Ben," she murmured. "Ben, it's okay. I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. It was just a dream. I'm here. You had no idea. _It wasn't your fault_."

That made my carefully placed wall shatter, and I tightened my grip on her, shoulders shaking as I cried. She rubbed my back and rested her chin on my shoulder, leaning her head against mine. We stayed that way for several minutes while I tried- and failed- to get myself together.

Finally I was able to stop crying, but I didn't let go of her. Holding her in my arms felt damn good after the nightmare. And she didn't make any move to get up, so we kept leaning into each other. She shifted after a few long moments, tucking her head into the crook of my neck. The warmth of her breath on my skin made me shudder. Her eyelashes tickled slightly, but I didn't mind. I couldn't- not when she was _here_ with me. Right now, she was in my arms and nothing else mattered but her.

"I shouldn't have let him get to me," I heard myself sigh.

Tory gave me a squeeze. "You had no idea."

"But I should've seen the signs. It was just so nice to have someone who didn't treat me like a dumb kid. He'd actually taught me how to be a better mechanic and held _real_ conversations with me. And he wasn't just humoring me, like everyone else does. He... He thought I was smart." I snorted. "Of course, only a total idiot would believe him, which makes sense, I guess."

She shook her head. "You're not an idiot, Ben."

"Compared to everyone on this island I am."

Tory pulled back slightly, but only so she could look me in the eye. "You trust me, Ben?"

I didn't even have to think about it. "Of course."

"Then listen to me. You are _not_ stupid. You're highly intelligent. The only difference is that you look at the entire situation, and not every little detail like we do."

"Because I can't."

"Because you've never had to. You always understand the big picture while we don't. I actually think you're a bit smarter than me in that light."

I stared at her in surprise. "No one's smarter than you." A pause. "But I have to know, how _did_ those words taste coming out of your mouth?"

"Like poison," she admitted, smiling.

A comfortable silence followed, and she rested into me once again. I leaned against the wall, rubbing her back absently. This felt natural and I liked it.

"How'd you end up here, anyway?" I asked.

"Kit's working late tonight, and Whitney and I had an argument."

"What about?"

She laughed humorlessly. "What's it usually about?"

I closed my eyes briefly, grateful for the subject change. "Now what's so bad about going to a snobby dance and showing off how expensive your taste is with your _best girlfriends_ from Bolton?" I teased.

A playful hit. "You wouldn't last one night."

"You're probably right. I'm just wondering if I'd get kicked out for hitting someone, or if I'd simply die from an overdose on rich bitches."

She giggled. "But you haven't died from hanging around Chance yet."

I laughed. "_Yet_ is the keyword there."

We talked for a little bit, then somehow managed to drift off.

And for the first time in forever, I slept without having that nightmare.

* * *

><p>I woke up when I felt movement on my chest. Curious, I looked down to see Tory sliding her arm around my waist as she slept, the top of her head just above my heart. I smiled and closed my eyes again, briefly, brushing some of her hair from her face. She tightened her grip on my shirt and snuggled closer. I grabbed the blanket and draped it over us, leaning my head back against the strangely comfortable wall and sighed contentedly. This felt good.<p>

Tory breathed deeply, trying to get even closer until one of her legs was on top of mine. I checked my phone for the time and swore softly. It was almost three. She'd have to get home before Kit called the police. I didn't want to wake her up, but there wasn't much of a choice in the matter.

"Tor," I whispered, shaking her shoulder. "Tory, wake up. It's late."

"Hmm?" Her eyes opened slowly, then closed again. "Sleepy."

I took the blanket off, earning a groan of protest. "Wake up. Kit's gonna kill us."

"Why? He's working late... And this is so nice..."

She was obviously still half-asleep. "It's two-fifty in the morning. He's probably home by now."

"WHAT?!" She was awake. She shot up, looking around wildly. "But I came over her at midnight."

My nightmare had only lasted an hour and a half. I pushed the thought aside. "We, uh, fell asleep."

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to smooth it out. "Oh my God, you're right. We _did_. I've gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow- er, later today, I mean! Maybe I can come by after breakfast if you're still asleep? Oh wait that sounded creepy... I'm not a stalker, I promise!" She was bright red again. "I'm just gonna go." I received a quick hug before she dashed out the door. I found myself chuckling as I lay back down and thought about what had just happened.

I'd just slept with Tory. Literally.

That made me laugh again, but I stopped as I thought about what this might do to us. Would things be awkward? _Oh, God,_ I thought. _Don't tell me she noticed..._ It would explain the awkwardness of her exit if she had. Then again, she'd just woken up and didn't want to suffer the wrath of her father. And she'd _admitted_ that it felt nice to be in my arms. I remembered the way she kept trying to get closer to me. Was she subconsciously reaching out to me? Were her feelings for me so strong that she only knew how to express them in her sleep by cuddling?

_Sweet Jesus, I sound like Nancy._

I sighed and pulled my pillow under my head, relaxing the best I could, closing my eyes yet again, wondering if I'd get any more interruptions.

The vibrating of my phone answered the unspoken question. I checked it to find a text from Tory.

**I got lucky. Kit had just gotten home and was too tired to deal. He'll probably forget by the morning. And Whitney's just glad I'm home safe (blargh) lol I'll see you tomorrow :D**

I smiled and locked the iPhone. She _was_ lucky. And so was I. If Kit had found out she was with me, he'd beat the shit out of me. And Cain would laugh his ass off.

But her text meant that things weren't awkward between us. And she still wanted to see me tomorrow.

_Maybe then,_ I thought as I drifted off for the third time, _I'll _finally _be able to kiss her._

**AN: Sorry ****it's a day late. But what did you think?**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I'd just pulled my shirt on when Tory strolled into the bunker. She looked relaxed and really happy.

"What's with the smile?" I asked. "Did he forget?"

A nod. "And Whitney's house is _finally_ repaired! In a week, I'll be free yet again." She sighed happily and sat down. "So many possibilities stretch out before me now that _she's_ leaving."

I laughed and sat next to her. "What all are you gonna do?"

"First things first, I'm going to be cooking _my own_ breakfast." Tory smiled at my look. "She's a good cook and all, but it's just something I've missed. I know it's weird, but it used to be this habit I'd developed and I kind of liked it."

"It's not that weird. What else?"

"Sleeping late. Watching movies that aren't just PG." An eyeroll. "She's such a prude for a woman who sleeps with Kit." She shuddered. "Ew. Bad image."

I had to agree and resumed packing up my bag for the day. "Sounds like a promising summer you've got ahead of you. Sleeping, watching TV, making breakfast probably at lunchtime. Productive."

"Oh, can it, Blue."

"I'd like to see you try and make me," I teased, strolling out of the bunker.

Tory grabbed my arm, stepping close. I swallowed, trying not to look eager. "I will make you regret those words."

"How?"

"Drop the bag." When I complied, she tackled me. Surprised, I fell, her landing on top of me. _This _was not what I had expected by her threat. Tory sat up, still on top, brushing her hair out of her face. "I win!"

I flipped us and pinned her wrists to the ground. "Not so fast." She gaped at me for all of three seconds before she began to struggle. I was stronger than her and probably had close to sixty pounds of muscle on her. So this was an easy victory. "Did you really think this through?"

"Not really, no." She leaned up and brushed her nose against mine. I smiled and rested my forehead against hers, loosening my grip on her. Then she rolled out from underneath me and straddled my back, holding me down before I had the chance to react. "I cannot believe you fell for that one!" she giggled.

Neither could I. How had I _not_ seen it coming? "So not fair," I complained, squirming in a feeble attempt to get out of this without hurting her.

"All's fair in love and war, Ben," she cooed.

"Remind me which one this is?" I said without thinking, and felt my face go red. _Dammit, I'm too comfortable with her. I'm saying stupid things._

"You tell me." Tory rubbed my shoulders, working out the knots that had formed overnight. It felt _so_ good. I didn't know if it was because she was a good masseuse, or because it was _her_. "Is this war?" I finally was able to roll over when she crawled off, but only to straddle my hips with a dark look in her eyes. I sat up so she was in my lap, my hands finding her waist on their own volition. As we leaned closer, she whispered, "Or is this-"

She was cut off before she could finish. Unfortunately, it wasn't from my kiss. It was from Cain calling to me.

"Where are you, Dummy? Oh _Dummy_!"

I felt myself growl, and Tory sighed. She started to get up just as he came up the hill. His eyes went huge as he stared. I stood and wiped the sand from my clothes.

"Holy shit," he muttered. "I didn't know you two were doing the-"

"Don't finish that sentence," I snapped, grabbing my bag with one hand. Tory grabbed my other one and I felt my chest swell.

"Don't interrupt me, Benny Boy."

"I suppose that makes us even, then." I was fed up with never being able to kiss her. All of the tension that I'd ever felt was making a reappearance and building. And I knew that only she could relieve it. A glance at her had me assuming she felt the same way. "What do you want, anyway?"

"Dad wants you home for breakfast. Says he wants to talk to you, too."

"What about?" I asked out of habit as we trudged down the hill.

He sneered. "Well, he didn't say, but I can only guess it's about someone called Nancy. That name was mentioned a lot in a phone call he'd made this morning. New girlfriend, maybe?"

Unfortunately, Tory noticed me stiffen. She looked up at me, eyes questioning. I couldn't hold her gaze, unease settling over me. She squeezed my hand, trying to comfort me even though she had no idea what was going on. The action made my throat ache slightly and filled me with longing.

The sun was slowly climbing in the sky, almost at its peak. I was used to it, but Cain wasn't and slipped on his shades, grumbling to himself about the lack of shade. He was a few feet ahead of us and suddenly yelled in surprise. Tory and I were automatically at his side and relaxed when we saw what had freaked him out.

"Son of a bitch, it's heading right for us!" He glanced at us, eyes wide with fear, and noticed our lack of terror. "Why aren't we running?" His voice was calmer when he said that, controlled.

"Oh, right," I said in a monotone. "Tory, let's escape from the terrible, _horrendous _killer beast before he mauls us. Or worse, licks us to death."

She giggled and opened her arms to Coop, who rushed into them, nosing her face, tail wagging so hard his entire body shook. I felt the corner of my mouth turn at the sight of those two. I'd never seen a dog and owner so close. Of course, it might have had something to do with our abilities, but it didn't matter to them. They loved each other and that's all either cared about.

_God, how corny._

"So he's her dog," Cain said to himself.

"No shit."

He glowered at me, and Coop walked over to him, curious of the new face. The mutt sniffed at his outstretched hand and looked at me in confusion. Then he barked and trotted over to me, as if to ask, _did you know about this?_ I sighed and ruffled his ears. Cain watched us, then looked at Tory. I didn't miss the desire in his eyes, and however little there was, my face heated with anger. I stood and took her hand again, shouldering my bag. He caught my look and feigned innocence. I let it slide. This once.

"What's his name?" he asked her.

"Cooper." We began walking again and soon the houses came into view.

"Cute."

Tory gave him a strange look. "I never really thought it was a _cute_ name, but sure."

He smirked at her and ignored my warning look. "Oh, Tory, I wasn't talking about his name."

She met his flirty stare with an even one. "Well then for your sake I hope you were complimenting _him_."

"And why's that?"

"Because he absolutely hates it when no one says anything nice to him every once in a while. It makes him... angry." Her eyes held a threat: _Back off, or I sic him on you._

But Cain just smiled, patting the dog's head. "Of course, he's a gorgeous dog. Almost as gorgeous as his owner."

That was it. I shoved him over, and he fell, surprised, but caught himself before he faceplanted in the sand. _Too bad._ He got up and gave me a look that could make an NFL quarterback wither in fear. But not me. He had no effect on me anymore. He hadn't since I'd started lifting five years ago and had made it _very_ clear that I wasn't going to let him beat me up or push me around for a second longer.

"You two," Tory sighed, shaking her head, stroking Coop. "You'd think that you were brothers, the way you fight."

Cain snorted, and I glanced back at her. She looked strangely... knowing.

"Did I ever tell you that I love a girl with a sense of humor?"

She batted her eyes at him. "Did I ever tell you how you disgust me?"

He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ouch. But seriously, what're you doing with my little brother? Don't you want a man with more experience with the ladies? One that knows how to take care of you? Make sure you're... _pleased_?"

I drew back my arm, but Tory placed her hand on it, shaking her head slightly. Cain was just baiting me. Waiting for me to lose my temper and kill him. And I knew that. But how could I _not_ pummel him after what he'd said to her? Not only was he making passes with me _right here_, but he was making jabs at my lack of knowledge when it came to being an effective lover. In front of her.

Sure, I'd had a few admirers through elementary school and sixth grade. Of course, I was avoided after that up until winter break of my freshman year. But by then I'd started at Bolton as one of the boat kids, so the girls weren't exactly bringing down the door. That summer, there had been some occasions, with girls who were on vacation and had somehow found their way to Morris's beach, but those were few and far between. Not many found my 'brooding' very attractive, and those who did either expected me to turn into a Twilight vampire or only wanted free rides on _Sewee_. There had been maybe two girls who were okay, but they were only there for a few afternoons. Not exactly the ideal situation for a real relationship. Not that I cared. I didn't want anything permanent with a girl. I'd seen what it had done to Dad, how it had torn him apart.

But when Tory moved to Morris, my discontent with commitment seemed to disappear. The second I laid eyes on her, I was infatuated. The first time she opened her mouth to speak, I was smitten. And by the time we had found Heaton's dogtag, I was... Well, I adored her. The strange new girl who'd seemed to always be biting back tears had grown to be one of my closest friends, yet I'm positive that she had absolutely no clue how very much I needed her, and not just as a packmate.

Her words brought me back to reality. She was talking to Cain. "Oh, you don't have to worry about whether or not he's doing a good job." Then she leaned up and brushed her lips against my jaw in such a way that I reacted, pulling her against me, not giving a damn that he was here too. Her already pink cheeks grew darker as she placed a soft hand on my face. And, meeting my eyes, she told him, "Because I think he's a damn good boyfriend."

Cain didn't say anything. Or maybe I just didn't hear him. I was too busy staring into her eyes, not believing she'd called me that. _That's it._ I wanted to crash my lips against hers and kiss her until she was left utterly breathless. I wanted to feel her pressed up against me so tightly that every inch of her body would be on mine. I wanted so much at the moment that it scared me a bit, but it also made me feel like my veins were wires, sending thousands of volts of electricity through me. My desire was reciprocated- I could tell. Her eyes had gotten bigger, her pupils dilated, her lips parted in such a seductive manner. She probably had no idea that she was doing it. Or maybe she did. I didn't know. I didn't care. As we leaned closer, I couldn't help but think, _Finally. This is happening._

"Cain, Ben, get in here! Eggs are getting cold! _Now_!"

She reluctantly pulled away. "You've gotta be kidding me."

My thoughts exactly. "He can wait," I said, fed up, wrapping my arms around her again.

"Ben," she sighed. "You have to go in. He needs to talk to you, remember?"

I growled in frustration before I could stop myself. She laughed.

"Tell me about it. But, hey," she smiled, looking around, as if she were telling a secret, before leaning up and whispering in my ear, "Kit and Whitney are going over to her house around two-thirty to move some of her stuff from storage. They'll probably go for a movie afterward, then out to dinner. They should be gone _at least _a few hours, if not the rest of the night. Come over then."

Did she know how amazing the warmth of her breath on my ear felt? I couldn't possibly have wanted her more at that moment.

I nodded. "I'll be there."

She smiled widely. "Great. I'll see you then." She leaned up and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek before heading to her house, looking over her shoulder and waving, Coop on her heels. I watched her go as I trudged to my townhome, past Cain, who was snickering, and through the door. A glance at the clock told me it was only eleven.

Two-thirty could not come soon enough.

**So what did you think?**

**Soon to come: Ben cleans his room!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"So, Ben," Dad said when he heard me enter the kitchen, oblivious to what he'd just interrupted, "how did you sleep?"

I shrugged, taking a plate and filling it, grabbing the hot sauce and sitting at the table.

"Your mother called. She said Nancy had given you more anti-depressants?"

"Yeah," I mumbled through a mouthful of bacon.

He left the room for a brief second and returned with a bottle full of pills. I groaned.

"Come on, you know I don't really need those."

"Ben, you need to be taking them. And your sleeping medication too."

He ignored my look of protest and put the pill on my napkin. "I don't want to have to watch over you like you're a kid, Ben, but I will if I have to."

My fist clenched on its own volition, and I glowered at him. Since when did _he_ start listening to Mom? And why was he coming down on me all of a sudden? Why did he _care_? But I didn't want to risk Cain overhearing him yelling at me, which would surely happen if I refused. So I took it, but not without reluctance. Dad's shoulders sagged in relief and he sat down, putting his head in his hands.

"I know this is a pain in the ass, but your mother and I are just trying to help you out. And so is Nancy. It doesn't have anything to do with whether or not she's getting paid."

That bitch ratted me out. What happened to doctor-patient confidentiality?

Was there _anyone_ I could trust?

I stood and left without a word, going up to my bedroom, shutting the door and flopping down on my bed. I had close to three hours before I could go over to Tory's. Rolling over, I eyed my bookshelf. The books were a jumbled mess, hiding behind various knick knacks. My desk was still covered in cheat sheets for the finals from last week. Pencils were scattered across the surface. With nothing better to do, I strolled over to it and picked them up, putting them back in the drawer, and throwing away the papers. Something caught my eye from behind the desk; upon investigation I found it was a key similar to the one I had in my pocket. I sighed, placing it in the drawer with the pencils, before walking over to my bookshelf and pulling everything off of it. I sat on the floor, sorting and organizing everything. It had been so long since I'd really looked at this stuff that I'd forgotten that I even owned it. Each item had a few layers of dust on it, causing me to sneeze when I wiped them off. One by one, I put up the books, then the movies. I chuckled to myself when I saw my Star Trek TOS and Next Generation DVDs. As a force of habit, I counted them to make sure I hadn't lost any. Three seasons of TOS and seven of Next Gen. I shelved them too, but vowed I'd watch it again soon. It'd been too long.

No, I was not a geek about the series, nor did I ever get any kind of merchandise after I turned eight, _nor_ have I _ever_ owned a pair of Star Trek underwear. Just to clear things up.

I continued cleaning up, but froze when I picked up a small trophy. Reliving the memory for a small moment, I smiled, but only briefly. I brushed the dust off the plaque and read it to myself:

_**1st Place Winner of Fort Johnson Middle School's 2008-09 Annual Talent Show**_

My sixth grade trophy. I grabbed the one from seventh grade and stared at them for several minutes before tenderly placing them on the shelf, right in front of my binder full of songs. Some things just went together well.

I put everything else up and showered, figuring I could use one after the night I'd had and then being disappointed again and cleaning off my filthy bookshelf. After stepping out, I toweled off, combed out my hair, then headed back for my room. On the way there, I almost bumped into Cain. He started to snap at me, but stopped and looked at me as if I had hugged him. It only lasted half a second, though, before he walked away, calling, "Your abs may be cool, but mine are better!"

Rolling my eyes, I stepped inside and closed the door before pulling out my clothes. After an extra layer of deodorant- just in case- I pulled on my jeans and was reaching for my dark green tee when I caught a glimpse of my reflection on my laptop screen. I looked down at myself, then at the screen. Then I found myself smirking. I finally had something on my brother: bigger muscles.

The next hour and a half were torture. I lay on my bed, not really wanting to do anything, waiting for two-thirty to roll around. And no matter where I looked, it always seemed that my eyes would ghost back over to the case behind the closet door, making my mind dwell on subjects that would really have been better if they were buried in the ground.

Finally, _finally_, it was two-thirty. I brushed, flossed, and used mouthwash, then combed once more. I contemplated wearing a bit of cologne, but decided against it. If Tory flared, she'd smell the chemicals. Taking the steps two at a time, I called to Dad that I was going out, that I had my phone, and not to contact me unless someone was dying.

Then, I waited and watched as Kit backed out of the driveway and disappeared in the distance. Five seconds later, I got a text from Tory, telling me they were gone. It took all I had not to run over to her house. My self control was amazing at this moment. I walked the entire way.

She was waiting for me at the door, and let me in, smiling almost shyly, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. We walked up the stairs together, hands brushing, until we reached the TV room. Her presence was driving me completely insane. I was surprised I'd managed to keep my hands off of her for this long.

"Ben?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?" I stepped closer, taking her hands.

She looked up at me, eyes half-lidded, lips parted in that sultry way I couldn't get enough of, and smiled.

"How much do you want to bet somebody's going to call us?"

I rested my forehead on hers. "If they do, I'm blaming you for jinxing us."

Tory grinned and her eyes slid closed. I leaned closer until our lips were barely brushing, setting me on fire. Then I finally kissed her.

Her mouth on mine after waiting for so _long_ made the tension that had been bubbling up inside of me burst and take control, and I lifted her up off the ground and carried her to the nearby couch, never breaking contact. I could feel her smile as I sat down with her in my lap. She moved so she was straddling me, running her fingers through my hair. My hands found her hips and I pulled her closer to me. Tory relaxed into me and sighed in a way that I could only describe as content. I felt the same. When she'd first kissed me the evening we'd rescued Ella, it had only lasted a moment, and I'd been too stunned to react, which I regretted insanely. But now that she was here in my arms, her touch sending volts of electricity through my veins, her soft, warm lips moving against mine, I never wanted to stop. I didn't plan to any time soon.

We kissed for several long moments and she pulled away, taking a breath and smiling at me. I leaned in again, not done with her. She giggled, returning it. My eyes slid shut and I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, and her mouth opened, letting me in. I explored her mouth for the first time, shuddering with pleasure at the sensation. She moaned softly, moving slightly. I inhaled sharply and tightened my grip on her. Her hands shifted down from my head to my shoulders, which she rubbed with the tips of her fingers, working out the knots I didn't know I had. My own hands found themselves moving up to her waist, then around to her back. Right now I just wanted her closer. She was with _me_, kissing _me,_ touching _me_, and the idea combined with reality was intoxicating enough to make me dizzy with emotion and a burning desire that terrified and enticed simultaneously. Her arms went around my neck in a successful attempt to pull my head closer to hers.

Amazing was an understatement as to how this felt. There was nothing I could compare it to. Nothing seemed good enough.

After so long- after a year and a half of imagining how it would feel to have her mouth on mine, to have her in my arms, to be able to call her mine, to know that I was the only one she wanted- the fact that it was actually happening to _me_, Benjamin Blue, and not Jason or Chance or whoever, made me want to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Because even a dummy like me knew that Tory was too good for me. She was everything any self-respecting man could ever want. More than _I_ could have ever hoped for. And yet here she was, kissing me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to her. And I'll be damned if I don't find a way to make this work between us.

I'd already lost her once. There was no way in hell I'd let it happen again.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

We were still kissing three hours later, but I was laying on the couch, and she was on top of me. My hands were on her back, rubbing it as she tightened her grip on my shirt. Our kisses had moved far beyond soft and tentative, to more hot and passionate. More needy and desperate. My head swam with the ways she made me feel so incredibly alive. I felt like I was on fire, but I was covered in gooseflesh. Tory was trembling with what I hoped was bliss.

She suddenly shuddered, pressing her hips into mine, tensing up and breathing a soft moan that was pure heaven to my ears. Then she took a shaky breath, having broken the kiss, and leaned her forehead against mine, our eyes meeting. I didn't really know what had just happened but I began to feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, like I'd just accomplished something major. Her dark green eyes were even darker, appearing black with desire, and kind of unfocused. She crashed her lips to mine again, pretty much picking up from where she left off.

The sensations of having her in my arms, the pressure of her body on mine, her mouth moving against mine, continued to overwhelm me. I'd been able to ignore the growing desire but after what had just happened (that I was still completely confused about, though I was sure it was a good thing), it was almost unbearable. I felt like my self control was beginning to slip from my grasp.

Tory seemed to realize this, and she sat up, looking down at me. Her dark red hair was messed up, her skin seemed to have an allover glowing flush, her breathing was slightly spastic, and her swollen lips were parted in such a way that made me want to lean up and claim them for myself. She looked like a goddess, an image of beauty that I wanted to take and hold on to forever.

I sat, too, and pulled her close. She placed her chin on my shoulder, her head resting against mine, arms wrapping around me. She sighed and scooted closer, practically collapsing into me.

"So that happened," she said after several long minutes of us holding each other silently. Her breathing was still uneven, and I could still feel the heat of her body. She was trembling again. I chuckled.

"Yeah." I closed my eyes briefly and looked at the clock. "What time did you say they were coming home?"

"Late. What is it, six?"

"About."

She grew quiet, most likely thinking. "You wanna go for a walk? Along the beach, or something?"

I didn't care what we did, as long as we were together. "Sure, why not?"

Tory climbed off me, then stretched. "Can you believe we've been fooling around for three hours? That's insane." She shook her head, grinning. "But time _does_ fly when you're having fun, eh, Ben?" I agreed as she grabbed her shades and put them on top of her head, opening the door. "So, what was so important that your dad called you in for? I never got the chance to ask you." Her hand slid into mine as we walked. I glanced over at her and noticed that her shirt had ridden down, and I could see the top of her bra. I also noticed that her chest was flushed, too, and she seemed slightly... fuller than usual. It wasn't that significant of a difference, and I had no clue why I noticed. It was probably just her bra or something. And yes, I knew what her chest usually looked like. I _was_ a guy, after all, and she had a very nice figure. Well, from what I could tell from seeing her in nothing but tee-shirts that fit like normal, typical jean shorts, the Bolton uniform, and a few dresses from the cotillion. Seeing her was nice, and imagining her _without_ the current snug tank top and capris...

That was for later.

"Ben?" I made myself look up from her seemingly endless legs to her blushing and slightly amused face. "See something you like, sailor?"

I'm sure my face was bright red. "S-sorry, I, uh..."

She grinned and kissed me chastely. "You know, you're pretty easy on the eyes yourself, Ben." She ran her hands from my shoulders, down my chest, to the waistband of my jeans, where she hooked her fingers through the belt loops, using them to pull me into her, giving me a kiss with a clear message as to what she wanted to do next. I couldn't contain the groan and wrapped my arms around her, tangling one hand into her hair. Was this how it was going to be from now on? This crazed, searing temptation that could only partially be sated by kissing? What would we do when school started back up? I was going to be a senior, and she was going into her junior year. We'd both be swamped with homework. How would we deal with the push? Would we always be feeling it, or would it depend on the situation?

I knew that _right now_, I was definitely feeling it. The need to get as close as humanly possible, the idea of how seductively easy it seemed to be to do. Here she was, in my arms, and she was so _willing_. I felt like if I asked her, she'd go all the way with me in a heartbeat. That kind of scared me.

Almost as much as the fact that I wanted to.

I broke the kiss, looking away and closing my eyes as her open lips landed on my cheek in an attempt to chase it. Everything was literally so hot. "Um, so that walk..."

She giggled. "Oh, yeah. You still want to, or do you want to go back inside? I'm sure we could find something to do in there."

_You couldn't make this any harder for me, Tory._ "Yeah, I th-think a walk would be good. It's nice out."

Tory bit her lip, looking slightly confused. But then she smiled. "Sure." She took my hand and we resumed our travel towards the beach. Several companionable, yet kind of awkward moments passed by before she broke the silence. "So, Ben, about last night..."

_Good God, no._

"You seemed pretty freaked out by it. I mean, do you want to talk about it?"

"We already did," I said, hoping that she didn't press any deeper. Hoping that she didn't find out that I was seeing a shrink.

_She has a right to know, Ben. You two _did _just make out for three hours straight. She trusts you._

I couldn't help but feel guilty at the thought. She _did_ trust me again. Heaven knows why- even after six months, I was still unsure of myself, and I wasn't about to forgive what I'd done. That didn't mean, however, that I didn't enjoy any distractions. Like Tory. She was a _great_ distraction, and I _thoroughly_ enjoyed her company. She knew how to keep me entertained for hours on end. I hoped that I had the same effect on her, and had a vague feeling that I did.

"I know, but still." We'd reached the beach and were sitting on the dock. "That was really intense." I couldn't bring myself to look at her. She noticed and squeezed my hand. "I get nightmares like that too sometimes. Like the night my mom died. There are times when I'm stuck reliving it." A controlled breath. "It sucks, huh?"

"Yeah."

"But you know what I realized? You can't change the past. No matter how much you want to. So the best thing you can do is keep your head up and move on."

I snorted. "And to think, we were in _such_ good moods five minutes ago."

An embarrassed smile. "Sorry. I've been known to do that."

"Yes, you have."

She shoved me playfully. "But hey, every cloud has a silver lining, right? And, as terrible as it is, if the accident had never happened, then, well..." Her face reddened. "I would never had met you."

Tory had a point. I tried to imagine how different my life would be if she'd never moved to Morris. It made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"I'm just thinking how terribly boring it would be without you here. Our own personal troublemaker."

She grinned. "You're right! If I'd never come to South Carolina, then..." The smile faded. "We wouldn't be Virals." She looked down at the water, biting her lip. "Do you think you'd be better off if I'd never been here? If I hadn't found the dogtag?"

I thought for a second. She had a point. But I soon found myself shaking my head. "Coop would probably be dead if it wasn't for you. LIRI would've shut down. Hollis Claybourne would've gotten away with murdering Katherine Heaton, and I probably would have strangled Hi by now." I earned a chuckle. "And as for catching a supervirus that altered our DNA? Small price to pay for someone like you, Tor."

I hadn't meant for that to sound romantic, but that's certainly how she took it. She kissed me full on the mouth for several long moments. When she pulled away she whispered, "How's that for a mood change?"

"You know, I'm still kind of bummed. I could use a bit more cheering up."

Tory leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine once again.

"Okay, whose birthday is it now?"

We jumped apart and turned as quickly as possible. I was ready to fight someone off, and Tory seemed about the same. When I saw the two figures watching us, one highly amused and one extremely abashed, I fought to contain the groan.

Hi and Shelton.

_Let the interrogation begin._

**Thoughts?  
>Soon to come:<br>A serious (you guessed it!) interrogation!  
><strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"So, what do we have here?" Hi teased. "Two love-struck teens, it appears. Wouldn't you say, Shelly?"

Shelton tugged his ear. "We, uh, saw you two so we thought we'd join." He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. I had to agree.

Tory's face was bright red. _So she could undress me with her eyes while Cain was here, but with the two guys, she won't even look at me?_ She sighed and rubbed her arm. "So you guys wanna do anything, or are you gonna keep staring as if we were doing something strange?"

"Well Tory, you and Ben kissing like that kind of _is_ strange to us," Shelton said.

"You mean it's not strange to you two?" Hi grinned. "I bloody _knew_ it! That's why you were so pissed at me for interrupting you yesterday! This is perfect!"

"Can it, Thickburger," I snapped. I needed to come up with more witty insults for him.

His smile grew. "Defensive, are we? Now, how long has this been going on?"

Tory shrugged. "What's it to you?"

"Shelton and I don't like being in the dark. Especially Shelton. He's terrified of it."

"Ha-ha," Shelton retorted, tugging his earlobe. "Hi, we should probably leave these two to their privacy. Come on."

"No way. This is too interesting! I can't just leave!"

"Move your lazy butt, Hi. We're going."

Tory shook her head. "Don't. We can hang out if you want to. It's no problem." She caught my look and sighed. "Come on Ben, the moment's ruined anyway. Might as well enjoy their company while they're here."

"_Enjoy_?" I scoffed. She nudged me and fought the giggle. Hi adopted a look of mock offense and placed his hand over his heart dramatically. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. What do you want to do?"

Hi plopped down next to Tory and leaned forward expectantly, grinning largely. "Spill."

Shelton sat beside me and tried not to look interested, but I knew him too well. She and I exchanged a look before she said, "Since I first kissed him. That's all you're getting. And don't look at Ben like that; you really think _he'll_ tell you anything?" she added when Hi waggled his eyebrows at me. "What've you been up to all day, anyway? I haven't seen either of you."

Hi beamed. "Well, you've been a little busy to notice our absence." The smile grew when he noticed our blushes. I couldn't reach around Tory to hit him without endangering her, which he probably knew. "But if you must know, Shelton and I have been playing some _serious_ COD at my place. But then Mommy Dearest told us to get out and get some sun."

"Why don't you just go to the bunker and play there? _You_ were the one who insisted on getting the system," Tory said.

Shelton stood. "You know, I think I'm gonna take you up on that. Come on, Hi."

He shook his head and propped his chin on his hand, batting his eyes. "I want to observe the common teenagers performing one of the strange mating rituals known as _awkwardly avoiding the other's gaze while being watched._"

I took the risk and pushed him into the ocean. Tory gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth, trying so hard not to laugh. "That was mean," she whispered.

Shelton shook his head. "That big lug. Will he ever learn?"

"Probably not," Hi answered, surfacing. "I'll take that as my cue to leave. I don't want to get thrown farther in and risk a shark attack."

"A shark wouldn't touch you." Offhand, deadpan. I was good at that.

"It'd be too threatened by my manly toughness!" He flexed pathetically.

"Oh, absolutely," Tory said. "You'd better put your guns away, Hi. I'm beginning to swoon."

And even though I _knew_ she was being sarcastic (and that my 'guns' were better than his by lightyears), I felt a jealous burn begin in my gut. I squashed it. _She's your _girlfriend. _Don't lose it over Stolowitski._

"Do you maybe want to practice flaring?" Shelton suggested. We all looked at him in shock. He wasn't typically the one to suggest that. "I mean," he continued uneasily, "it's been a while since we flared as a pack, and we need to work on our abilities, right? Especially since that crazy thing with Chance?"

Tory nodded almost eagerly. Hi wrung out his shirt and agreed with a grumble about never getting a break. We walked to a stretch of sand that was closer to the bunker. Cooper was soon loping towards us happily, wagging his tail. "Okay," Tory said softly. "Let's light 'em."

It had actually been a while since I'd flared. After the incident with Hawfield, I'd been pretty hesitant for some reason. That was a few weeks ago. But thinking of what he'd done, and what he could've done, was the easiest way to get angry (ready to kill is probably a better term), and soon, I was worked up and tense.

**SNAP**

After a few moments, my senses adjusted themselves again and opened my eyes. Looked around. Blinked.

This felt _good_. Cooper yipped excitedly, prancing. Shelton was gazing up at the sky, face screwed up. Seconds later, a jet whizzed by. Hi appeared to be having a staring contest with some woodland creature three hundred yards away. Tory had her eyes closed, and was breathing deeply. I wondered what it felt like to have a great sense of smell like hers. It would certainly have its disadvantages, but there were so many pheromones that the human body gave off that were nearly impossible to consciously detect by a person alone. Where did that leave her? What scent was Hi giving off? Shelton? Me?

What did she now have in her knowledge just from being able to smell us?

The thought made me uncomfortable.

A breeze ruffled my hair and I turned, glancing at the secluded stretch of sand to our right. Shelton would tell us if there was a potential threat near, and I had my shades with me. All of the precautionary measures had been taken. So I didn't hesitate.

I tore off without a care in the world, reaching the shore far too soon, and let myself smile. Running felt good; it was the best way to let off steam, next to pumping iron and boating. _And kissing Tory. You can say that now._ Coop yipped and ran at me happily. I laughed and took off, letting him chase me for a little while before he 'caught' me, and I lay on the sand, rubbing his head as he tried to lick my face before giving up and rolling around on the ground next to me.

I heard Tory laughing as she approached, rubbing her dog's belly. His paws twitched. She giggled and sat down in between us, leaning back on her hands. "I wonder, Ben, if I rub your stomach, will your leg bounce?"

"No."

"Well have you tried it?"

"No."

"Then how can you know for sure?" she teased.

I rolled my eyes, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. Would she seriously try to make my leg bounce? And why did I kind of want her to? How desperate was I for her touch?

She lay down next to me, propping her head up with her elbow. I rolled onto my side and met her golden eyes. "So you're feeling okay?" she asked.

"With what?"

"Flaring."

_Oh._ "Yeah, I'm fine. Whatever had screwed with us is now gone. So it probably _was_ just my..." _being banned from the group... _"absence."

She nodded and smiled. "But now we're back the way we should be."

_Should be? Is that her way of saying we belong together?_ We leaned in at the same time.

And Cooper squeezed his way between us, flopping down and licking Tory's cheek.

"Eww," she groaned, wiping off the dog slobber. "Jealous much, mongrel?"

He lay his head on his paws and closed his eyes. She patted his head and smiled at me. "You think that's a yes?" she whispered.

I eyed the wolf-dog and experimentally reached over him, as if to touch her. He looked up at me, his tail thumping against my leg. "Either he thinks we're playing, or he's beating me with that tail as a warning."

She laughed and stood, brushing the sand off her clothes. I did the same. Coop tore off after a bird. We watched for a second, then Tory jumped about two feet in the air.

"What's wrong?" I asked, ready for danger.

"It's nothing. I've just never gotten a text while I was flaring before." She pulled it out of her pocket. "It feels _so weird_ on vibrate." Her eyes skimmed the iPhone, and her brows crinkled in confusion. Then her eyes lit up. "They're staying at her house for the night."

"Who?"

"Kit and Whitney. They're still packing up and want to get as much done as possible tonight, so they're just going to stay there." She blushed and bit her lip, looking up at me. "You wanna come back over later?"

_Uh-oh. _The look she was giving me when she asked made me feel light-headed. How could I say no to her when I wanted her so badly? "Sure."

She stepped closer and leaned up to kiss me. Our lips brushed, sending zillions of sparks through me. I wondered how it would be with our flares.

Just as I was about to press my lips to hers more firmly, Hi called to us. Tory pulled back with a sigh. "Just when I thought we wouldn't be interrupted anymore," she muttered. We headed down to the docks, where he was being chased by Coop.

"He's after me!" he yelled. Shelton winced. "Sorry, Shelly!"

"Quit calling me that, you big lug!"

Tory rolled her eyes and called her dog over. He trotted up to us and dropped a chew toy at her feet. She giggled. "Aw, Hi, he was just trying to share with you!" She tossed it to him. "He wants to spend some quality time with you is all."

He held it with his index finger and thumb, making a face. "This is drenched! Yuck!" He threw it, and Coop raced after it excitedly.

"He's like a big puppy," I observed.

"At least he's stopped teething," Tory replied. "I'd been worried that I was going to have to replace my furniture."

Shelton approached, dodging the wolfdog as he ran back with the toy. "So, Tory, have you tried any of that mental stuff?"

She shook her head. "I don't trust it right now. We should wait until we've figured out more about this virus."

He nodded, and we watched as Coop ran away from Hi instead of surrendering his toy. "Hey! I thought you wanted to play fetch! Get back here!" He jogged after him.

Five minutes later, he gave up and trudged over to the three of us. We'd taken the liberty of sitting on the ground and enjoying the drop in temperature. Hi wiped his sweaty forehead, panting for breath, and collapsed beside us.

"We should probably ditch the flares," Tory said. Everyone agreed and began to power down. I imagined my flare sizzling out and tried to think of something that would calm me down. Driving my boat. Relaxing at home. Playing my guitar.

_Wait, what?_

**SNUP**

I sat up, adjusting to the loss of power. But I was also distracted by my last thought. Since when did I think about playing guitar? I'd moved past that.

But now that Cain was back, memories were resurfacing. I was having doubts.

"Ben?"

I blinked hard and turned to Tory. "Yeah?"

She cocked her head to the side. "You alright?"

I shook my head sharply. "I'm fine. Just zoned out a little."

Tory still looked concerned, and I experienced the same sense of longing that I'd felt earlier this morning. There was this urge to hold her in my arms, to tell her my problems and hear her tell me that everything will be okay, and then I wanted to do the same for her. After so long of bottling up my emotions, of hiding it all, I was growing sick of it.

And I trusted Tory more than anyone. Sure, she was a tad impulsive and extremely stubborn, but she was honest and loyal, and if I told her my secrets, she'd take them to the grave. I wanted to show her who I was, the depth of my feelings.

I wanted to make her feel as good as I did whenever I was with her.

I planned to do exactly that tonight.

**Sorry it's been a while. I'm trying to post every day, but school's been kicking my ass.  
>Soon to come:<br>Some fun between two certain lovebirds...**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, everyone! I meant to post this yesterday, but I forgot, so you get two chapters in one day!  
><strong>**Disclaimer: (better late than never!) I don't own the Virals series or its characters (oh, the things I'd do if I did!), but I DO own Cain and I kind of own Ronnie. (You don't know her yet, but she's important, although not necessarily to _this_ story.)**

Chapter 12

"I had no idea you could cook," Tory said as she dried and put away a plate. "You almost put Whitney to shame."

It was eight-thirty. We were at her house, doing the dishes from dinner. I'd decided that one way to open up without making myself vulnerable was to cook for her. And she was apparently impressed with my skill.

I shrugged. "I'm not that good, Tor."

She snorted, putting up the last dish, then placed the towel on the oven handle. I drained the sink and rinsed it out before popping in a breath mint and taking a deep breath. I turned to face Tory, and found her washing the table. I subtly admired the view as she leaned closer to the middle of it, causing her bend over slightly. Her capris fit so well.

She brought the rag back over to the sink and smiled up at me. "Once again you have surprised me with your many hidden talents," she whispered, stepping closer. Her face reddened slightly as she slid her arms around my neck. "I wonder what else you can do."

My breath caught in my throat as she pressed her lips to mine. I returned the kiss for a few minutes before pulling back. Now that we were actually here, I was afraid. We were unsupervised until morning, possibly later. The amount of freedom we had was intimidating.

"Ben?" she purred. "What's wrong?"

What _was_ wrong? Why had I stopped, again?

Tory smiled sexily and took my hand, leading me out of the kitchen, past the living room, up the stairs.

To her bedroom.

"I, um, thought it would be more comfortable than the couch," she said.

It made sense, but it didn't really help with the nervousness I was feeling. A couch was a little bit less... serious... than a bed. The mattress that was less than ten feet away was putting ideas into my head that really shouldn't be there. I shoved them away and took Tory's hands, leaning down and giving her a soft kiss. She sighed happily and pulled my head closer. I wrapped my arms around her waist, tugging her body closer to mine. She backed us towards the bed, and I sat down with her right next to me. She moved one of her hands to my face, which she cupped as she moved her lips against mine.

We broke apart, and she lay down. I looked down at her, confused. She smiled and patted the spot next to her. I lay down next to her, and she curled into me, head moving onto my chest. I tensed up, shocked, but relaxed and wrapped my arm around her. My eyes closed in bliss as she began tracing invisible patterns on my chest.

They opened when she moved down to my stomach.

After a few moments of waiting, I said, "My leg's not gonna bounce, Tor."

She jumped. "I-I wasn't-"

"Sure you weren't." I heard myself chuckle.

"But are you ticklish?"

"No." I thought for a second. "Are you?"

"No," she answered half a second too quickly. I smirked and lightly ran a finger over her ribs. She squirmed. "I'm _not_ ticklish."

"Oh, really?" I rolled over and did it again, adding more pressure. She tried to fight her giggle. "It's not nice to lie, Victoria Grace."

She tried to swat my hand away, but I pinned her hands above her head without a second thought, actually tickling her with my free hand. She laughed, fighting my grasp with a blush. "Y-you're so mean!" She might've been trying to sound angry, but was laughing too hard to succeed.

Tory managed to get her hands free enough to flip us, holding my arms down, breathing heavily as she desperately attempted to keep her laughter quiet. When it finally died down, she seemed to realize that she was straddling my hips. I hadn't really paid attention to the fact until her cheeks darkened. But instead of getting up like I'd figured she would, she leaned down and kissed me. Her grip on my arms disappeared, and I wrapped them around her. She moved her legs so she was practically laying on top of me, which I didn't mind. She was supporting her weight with her forearms, which were on either side of my head.

As she deepened the kiss, I ran my hands up and down her back. She moaned softly, shuddering. Then she sat and pulled me up, too, scooting closer. I pulled her hips closer to mine; she leaned closer and began kissing my jaw, trailing down to my neck. My eyes rolled back into my head and I heard myself sigh her name. She whimpered in response.

I once again rubbed her back, afraid to touch anything else, focusing on her shoulder blades, which I'd learned this afternoon were very sensitive to the touch. She squirmed in appreciation, and the feeling of her hips moving against mine made me feel like I was going to lose it.

"Tory," I said warningly, but it came out as a groan. She crashed her lips to mine again aggressively. I didn't know what had gotten into her, but a part of me never wanted her to stop. She grabbed one of my hands and moved down to her hip, and I tangled the other one into her soft, dark red hair.

Just when I thought Tory couldn't make me feel any better than I already did, she started to suck on my tongue.

When my biology teacher had said that the tongue was the most sensitive part of the human body, I'd disagreed. Only now did I realize just how wrong I'd been.

I tightened my grip on her, slowly losing control. I knew I had to stop her soon, as I knew I was rapidly reaching the point of no return. And even though I wanted her _so badly_ with every fiber in my being, I knew we weren't ready for it. We'd just made our relationship official today.

And yet...

When she pulled back for a breath, I made the mistake of meeting her big green eyes that were clouded with lust. I made the mistake of committing the sight of her disheveled clothes and messy hair to memory. I made the mistake of listening to the way that she breathed.

Any bit of self control that I had been saving completely fizzled out, and that was it.

I attacked her neck with sloppy kisses, hearing her breath pick up as she dug her nails into my shoulders. It felt _so good_. I pulled her hips into mine, holding her as close as humanly possible. As my lips skimmed her pulse, she whimpered, and I latched onto it, nibbling and sucking lightly. She whimpered again, and gasped when I added tongue.

"Oh Ben," she moaned. "_Oh Ben."_

I growled. This still wasn't enough for me. I needed more. I pulled back and pinned her to the mattress, picking up with where I left off. She panted hotly, holding my head in place with one hand, using the other to touch my chest and abs. I pulled back, only to reclaim her lips, thirsty tongue battling with hers for dominance. Some feral part of me wanted to make sure that she knew she was mine and no one else's, that only _I_ would be able to make her feel this way. When I was satisfied she understood, I rolled us onto our sides and rubbed her waist, breaking the kiss. If she wanted me to continue, she'd tell me.

Her lips chasing mine was the only confirmation I needed. Our lips moved together hungrily, desperately. My hands explored her body, finally touching what I'd been terrified to touch before. Hers did the same, learning all the spots I loved to be touched; where I loved to be caressed, where I wanted her to use her nails. I growled when she ran her hands over my back, underneath my shirt. My own hands were snaking their way up her tank top; I needed skin-to-skin contact. I touched her smooth back, her firm abs. And still I needed more. My hands came into contact with the lace of her bra.

It was like someone had dropped a bucket of freezing water on my head. I pulled back as if she had burned me, hands moving out of her shirt as I stood, struggling for breath and wondering what had made me stop, what the hell was wrong with me.

Tory looked up at me, confused. Her shirt was pushed up just past her ribcage; her capris had ridden down. Her crimson hair was even more messed up than before and her eyes were darker than ever. She was breathing like she'd been running, her cheeks divinely flushed. And her lips-

_Oh my God._

They were dark red, almost the color of her hair, and swollen. They'd parted in that sexy way that had always been hot before but was now unbearably so.

I wanted to do so many things to her at the moment.

"Ben?"

Even the way she said my name radiated sex. She reached for me, and I shook my head, taking another step back. I was trembling. "I should probably go," I said, voice deeper than usual.

"Why?"

She was so perfectly innocent sometimes. It killed me. "Because I don't know if I can stop myself again."

Tory scooted closer to the edge of the mattress. "Why would you need to stop?" Her eyes said, _Why _did _you stop in the first place?_

In spite of the situation, I gave a short laugh. "I don't have your self control, Tor."

After a second of her trying to figure out what I meant by that, she grinned and approached, wrapping her arms around my neck. "No, you don't. If you did, we _never_ would've stopped." She leaned up to kiss me. I shied away, feeling my face heat up. This was too much. There was only so much I could handle. We could only do so much before I _really_ lost all resistance and gave into every one of the urges coursing through my veins at this moment.

"Bad idea," I said.

She smiled and kissed my cheek instead. "You don't have to go."

I closed my eyes at her soft pleading. "Tory," I sighed.

"Well you don't. You can stay the night with me." She turned my head and gave me a kiss. I didn't object because it was chaste. "And we can slow down." _Kiss._ "Or we can pick up where we left off." _Kiss._ "Or we can stop altogether if you want." _Kiss._ "Just stay with me." This kiss was sweeter than the other ones. "I'll be all alone."

"Tory," I heard myself groan. Then I inhaled deeply and my shoulders slumped. "You really think this is a good idea?"

"Yes."

I shook my head. "You have no idea what you're getting us into."

She simply shrugged. "I trust you, Ben."

And for some stupid reason, those four words shattered my resolve and I gave in. "Okay, fine. I'll stay." I opened my eyes and looked at her. "But Tory?"

"Yeah?"

"Fix your shirt."

She giggled and pulled it down over her stomach, then kissed me. "So, what do you want to do?"

_It's more of a question of what I _can _do without losing it._ Even now, after a few minutes of being away from that bed, I was walking a very thin, fine line.

She must've read my face, because she bit her lip and blushed, looking down. "Ben, I wouldn't hate it if we _did_ lose it for one night. I mean, what other chance will we get?"

I stepped closer and gave her a long, lingering kiss. "Plenty. There's no rush."

Her eyes studied mine before she gave an abashed smile. "Okay." She took my hands. "So what _do_ you want to do?"

I remembered my original plan for the night. Decided to go with that. I slid my arms around her and gave her a slow, gentle kiss. She let me take the lead, seeming to finally understand. When I pulled away, she looked up at me, her eyes filled with something I couldn't name. I began to massage her back and pressed my lips to hers once again. I could feel her slowly relaxing, melting into me. I trailed soft, tentative kisses down to her neck, backing us up toward the bed as I did so. She pulled my head closer, and I could practically see her eyelashes fluttering.

"Oh, Ben," she said.

**Cue sexual growl. I have many mixed feelings about this chapter. I kind of wanted to show Ben's conflicting emotions concerning his... attraction to Tory. It can't really be easy for him, can it? I mean, he's been into her for over a year and a half, and now he finally has the chance to get _into _her... (sorry, bad, bad, bad pun) I also wanted to show how much respect he has for her, and his self control that I think Brendan seems to brush over.  
><strong>**It also doesn't help that it adds to the sexual tension (evil grin).  
><strong>**Also, don't be afraid to call me out on anything if you think I'm getting it wrong. I need all the constructive criticism I can get, since I'm going to major in creative writing and become an author (hopefully).  
>Have I mentioned that I love reading reviews, by the way? Because I do. Sometimes they're the only things that keep me going. That, and watching the number of views go up. :)<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**TOLD you there would be two today!  
>Just out of curiosity, does anyone read Brendan's question forum? I mean, it's not like I stalk it like a creep or anything, pssh.<strong>

Chapter 13

I woke up to the sound of my phone alarm going off. Eight in the morning. Turned it off and closed my eyes again, hoping to fall back asleep. I rolled onto my side, facing away from the window, trying to get comfortable again.

After several minutes, I reluctantly gave up. This was the best sleep I'd gotten in ages, and it had been interrupted by a stupid phone. On its own volition, my hand reached out. I didn't know why until it made contact with something.

My eyes shot open and I saw Tory curled up, her body mere inches from mine. She looked so relaxed as she slept, no signs of worry or tension whatsoever. Her arm was draped over my waist lazily, and I wondered how I'd not noticed it when I'd first woken up.

I scooted closer and gently pulled her into me, closing my eyes for the second time. Waking up next to her was a new personal favorite for me. And holding her in my arms filled me with a satisfaction that nothing else could beat. When I thought about last night, I found myself grinning and thinking, _Well, maybe _that _can beat this, but only by a hair._

I had learned just how good of a kisser I was. The moment would be imprinted into my brain for eternity. Her soft whimper, the way her nails bit harder into my shoulders, how she'd arched into me in a desperate attempt to get closer. I'd broken the kiss to watch her become unraveled because of _me_, and when she looked up at me with those gorgeous eyes that were glazed over and filled with contentment and adoration, I realized that this wasn't the first time I'd been responsible for causing her to reach the height of her desires.

We'd stared at each other for several hot minutes before she pulled me back down, telling me that it was okay to touch her. So I did, running my hands all over her body, still trying to get used to the fact that not only was she okay with this, but that she _wanted_ me to. And then I realized another thing- her skin was _very_ sensitive to the touch after the aforementioned height of her desires was attained. At least, I _assumed_ that's what it was, considering how much she whimpered. And she made sure that I was enjoying myself too, by nibbling my jaw line and lightly caressing my back with her nails.

When I'd reached the point when I needed to stop, I lay beside her and she buried her face in my chest, breathing deeply as our legs intertwined due to our close proximity. Then she pulled back and gave me a long kiss that made my head spin. "All this from just making out," she mused. I'd smiled and hugged her tightly, thinking to myself about how if simple kisses and touches felt this good, then how insanely pleasurable would it feel to go farther? A part of me was tempted to see if she was willing to try, knowing that she most likely was.

But after a look at her as she relaxed into me, drifting off, I decided against it.

As I'd said before, there'd be plenty other opportunities.

She stirred a few minutes later, sighing softly and rolling away, stretching. Then she yawned and looked over at me, her sleepy smile growing as if she'd just remembered today was a school holiday. The way her eyes met mine filled me with warmth and I wanted to hold her again. She reached over and laced her fingers through mine. "Good morning," she whispered. "You sleep okay?"

_No nightmares the entire night. No Gamemaster trying to exact his revenge on me by torturing you. So yes, I had an amazing night._

I just nodded and blinked, trying to wake up more. "When will Kit get back?"

Tory checked her phone. "Noon-ish. So we have four more hours of freedom." A small smile my way. "Anything in particular you want to do?"

_Sleep more._

Instead, I shrugged and got up, rolling my shoulders. Tory climbed out and started for the door. "You cooked last night, so now it's my turn. You like French toast?"

"Yeah." I'd eat almost anything. She smiled over her shoulder as she left the room. I sat back on the bed, and felt myself blush. I had no idea why.

_Well, you two _did _just spend the night together for the second time in a row. And she's wearing nothing but a button-up shirt and some shorts. Talk about lazy-sexy._

Last night, she'd begun to fall asleep but woke back up and mumbled something about pajamas, grabbing a pile of clothing off her desk and walking into the bathroom. I typically just slept in boxers, but I didn't think it'd be a good idea, especially because it was almost painfully obvious that I enjoyed her company.

I got a text from Dad, asking if I'd be home for breakfast. Then he informed me that I had an appointment with Nancy this afternoon. But it was only Thursday.

**I only have weekly aptmnts**, I texted him.

**idk blame ur mum**

I sighed. **Do i have a choice? **He texted back within five seconds.

**Nope. Ur going lick it or not**

***like**

**And take ur damn meds**

I rolled my eyes at the phone and pocketed it. I'd only taken them yesterday because he'd stood over me. Now there was no one to tell me what to do.

Running a hand through my disheveled hair, I headed downstairs and set the table while Tory cooked. "Want me to put a pot of coffee on?" I asked.

"Sure. The coffee's in the cabinet above the toaster, second shelf."

As it brewed, I walked up to Tory from behind and wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my chin on top her head. The smell of French toast wafted towards me, and I heard my stomach growl. My mouth began to water.

"You hungry?" she teased, flipping them over.

_Not for food,_ a part of me thought. I squashed it.

We ate, talking and joking around like old times. It felt good to know that we could still consider each other best friends even though we were together. I never wanted any of this to end. But of course it had to. Not ten minutes after we were done with breakfast, Tory got a text from Kit telling her that he and Whitney were on their way home. That meant that I had to leave.

"I'm sorry to kick you out," she said as we walked to my house. "I..." Her cheeks flushed. "I really like spending time with you. And not just when we're kissing. I mean, hanging out with you in general."

"Me too," I said, taking her hands once we reached the door.

She bit her lip. "I missed you, you know. It's easier to admit now." Her arms slid around my neck. "And I just want to enjoy these few weeks of peace that we have before we get tested on like lab rats."

"How romantic."

Tory laughed. "Yeah, I have a knack for killing moods, remember?"

I leaned down and kissed her for several long moments before pulling back and murmuring, "I'd probably better go in before Kit gets home. And you need to get dressed." She'd walked me home wearing her pajamas.

"You're right." She pressed her lips to mine chastely before heading back to her place, looking over her shoulder and waving. I waved back and went inside, where Dad and Cain were waiting for me.

"Your mother called with the details on today's appointment," Dad said upon my entry. "It's a family session. Meaning everyone will be there."

_And to think this morning started off so well._

Cain plopped down into a chair. "I'd hoped that I'd finally get a break and talk to Lana today, but _no_. It's all gotta be about the Bennyboy." A grin. "Well, I guess I can't call you that now, considering you've proven you're straight. Although you'll probably turn that poor redhead before the summer's up."

Dad held up a hand when I advanced. "Cain, that's enough. This is _exactly _why we're going together. You two never seem to stop fighting." He glanced at me. "But we don't have to go until one. Why don't you call Lana right now and talk to her until then?"

He shrugged and went up the stairs, grumbling about never being able to have any fun. Dad sat down on the couch and looked at me seriously. "Where did you sleep last night?"

When I didn't answer, his jaw tightened. "You stayed with Tory." Not a question. I felt my face heat up. He stood and crossed the room, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Tell me you at least used protection."

I shook my head. "We didn't do anything."

"Benjamin..."

"I'm serious. We didn't have sex."

He stared into my eyes for several moments before letting go of me. "Good. The last thing you need to worry about right now is getting a girl pregnant, much less Tory."

"I know."

"Her dad could fire me."

"I know."

"And you two could end up just like me and Myra did."

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I hated this story. I heard it every single time sex was mentioned in his vicinity.

"She was eighteen and I was twenty-three. She'd just graduated high school and I'd finished college. We were worlds apart. I shouldn't have even gone to that party." He got a faraway look in his eyes. "But I did. And then I got her a drink before we headed back to my apartment. Two weeks later she calls me and says she's pregnant." A laugh. "And of course, being the _responsible_ adult I was, I married her." He dragged a hand through his hair. "Ben, don't you get it? Having sex before you're ready can be catastrophic, and it _never_ works-"

"I get it!" I snapped. "I've only heard this a million times. And I'm _sorry_ I ruined your life, okay? But Tory and I aren't having sex and probably won't any time soon." The lecture had struck a nerve for some reason. "And you know why? Because I don't want to end up like you!"

My old man's eyes softened, and he clapped my shoulder. "You didn't ruin my life, son. _I_ did." He smiled. "You're one of the few things that still keeps me going. I'm sorry, Ben. I don't mean to make you feel like you were unwanted or unloved because believe me, you and Cain were the only interests that we had in common. I just don't want you to make the mistakes that I did. I mean, she's only fifteen."

I ran a hand through my hair. "I know she is." _Why else do you think I stopped? It certainly wasn't because I wanted to._

"You do realize that we'll be discussing this with Nancy, right?"

I sighed. "We done?"

He looked as if he wanted to say something more, then nodded, shoulders slumping. "Fine. We're finished for now. But you _will_ talk when we get to the hospital."

_Hospital._ I hated that word. One more reminder that I was 'sick' and needed help. But I didn't need help. I was doing just fine on my own. And maybe I could finally convince Nancy of that today.

* * *

><p>"Good, everyone's here." Nancy walked out into the waiting room, shaking hands with Mom and Dad, then Cain. "I'm Nancy Conway. Nice to meet you, Cain."<p>

"Likewise." He shook her tiny hand, and she led us to her room, sitting down in The Chair and taking out The Clipboard. Everyone took a seat on the couch. I remained standing. "She wants you to sit, stupid," he hissed.

Nancy peered up through her cat's eye glasses. Her eyes, a dull, colorless brown, swept over him. "I only want him to be comfortable, Mr. Blue. Now tell me, how is your school down in Florida?"

He seemed taken aback by the question. "Uh, fine."

"And your studies?"

"Great." He smiled. "I got all A's this semester."

"That's wonderful." Nancy jotted something down. "And you dominate on the playing field, which is a great way to channel your emotions. Have you spent much time with your family since you've come back for a visit?"

Cain shrugged. "I've been staying with my dad, so we're kind of hanging out."

"What about your mother?"

"Haven't had the time."

She cocked her head to the side. I didn't like the gesture; it was only cute when Tory did it. "How much time have you been spending with your brother?"

Cain snorted. "Seriously? We don't want anything to do with each other. Why would we spend time together?"

"Cain," Mom snapped. "Manners!"

Nancy smiled. "It's quite alright. This is a safe place. We can be as brutally honest as we need to. So why do you feel that Ben doesn't want to be around you?"

He leaned back against the cushions. "Honestly, ma'am, I think that he's jealous that I got accepted to Champion Prep, and he didn't. And that I am more successful than him in many ways."

I dug my nails into my palms. _Bastard._

Nancy looked at me. "Ben? Do you feel that this is true?"

"No. There's nothing to be jealous of. He's a self-absorbed pretty boy, no better than the silver-spooned trust-fund babies I was forced to associate with on a daily basis."

"Oh, you mean before you were kicked out?"

Every muscle in my body was tense. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing. I felt like I was going to flare. And then kill him.

"Cain, that's enough," Mom said.

"I was just being honest," he said innocently.

"There's a difference between being honest and being cruel. And that goes for you too, Ben." She pursed her lips at me.

Nancy leaned forward, writing something else down. "And how do you feel about all of this, Ms. Blue?"

She looked at me, then at Cain. "They've been fighting for as long as I can remember. I think they even fought in the womb. I just wish they could get along for once. I mean, you two are _brothers._ There's gotta be something you two have in common."

"How about our disdain for one another?" I suggested, earning a glare from Dad. "Well, it's true."

"And why do you feel like this about him, Ben?"

I didn't even look at her. "Already told you."

"But _why_ do you believe that he's a self-absorbed pretty boy?"

I just shrugged. This was all she was getting out of me, and I think she knew it. For the rest of the hour, she focused on Cain and how he was doing now that he was back home.

Until Tory was mentioned, that is.

"She's pretty funny. And really cute. I just have no idea why she'd want to date _Ben, _of all people."

"Date?" Nancy turned to me. "You two are a couple now?"

This was news to Mom, too. "How come you didn't tell me? And how come she and I have never officially met?"

I blinked a few times, but soon felt a strange sense of pride. _Yes_, Tory was my girlfriend, and _yes_ we were official, and _yes_ was I happy about it. I remembered the feel of her lips on mine, her hands in my hair, the way we held each other last night as we fell asleep together.

"And besides, Ben, I thought you'd go with Amanda or Ronnie-"

"Amanda or Ronnie?" I was ripped from the memory. "Ronnie's just a friend, and Amanda's... not my type." _Too much of a bitch._

Another thought made me tense up again.

_Shit, I need to call Ronnie._ The last time I'd called was Tuesday, right before my appointment, and who knows what kind of trouble she could've gotten into since then?

"So you took my advice and let her in, and she decided to do the same," Nancy said, more to herself. "That's very good, Ben. And your father tells me that you took your medicine yesterday. You've shown great improvement over these last two days. How have you been sleeping?"

"Pretty good," I answered honestly. Staying with Tory had made my nightmares stop. I guess it was because I knew that she was with me.

She smiled and jotted another thing down. "I'm impressed." She turned to Mom. "Ms. Blue, how do you feel about this?"

Mom looked at me and smiled. "I think it's wonderful that he's finally admitted his feelings to her. And she's such a sweet girl. You do realize, Ben, that you're going to have to bring her over for dinner?"

I nodded with a sigh. Mom was great, but she was a bit excitable when it came to stuff like this. And she tended to exaggerate and be a bit pushy. Since I'd never had a girlfriend before, I had no clue how she'd act, but I could only assume that she would be asking when I planned to propose and if she wanted children.

Nancy continued to talk to Mom about her various opinions on our situation, then Dad. He was awkward, uncomfortable with opening up to a stranger. I remained quiet for the rest of the time, and was more than grateful when we could finally leave.

**Taa-daa! What did you think? A little insight into the much-avoided relationship between Myra and Tom. I tried.  
><strong>**Reviews are much appreciated!  
><strong>**Love you guys!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, guys! I've decided to address some questions right here because why not!  
><strong>**RandomRower19 asked: Is everything going to stay all loved up for _Ten_? (_Ten, _as in Tory+Ben, also commonly known as _Toren, Benjavic, _or simply _ToryXBen_)  
>My answer: I don't want to spoil anything, but no one can expect everything to always be perfect between two people who are madly in love, right?<br>Feel free to ask me any questions, and I will try as hard as I can to answer to the best of my abilities and not be mean like Brendan is with his answers! (Sorry, I'm kind of miffed at him right now. He refuses to say anything about how the offspring will be affected other than, _haha, that's a liiitle ways down the road lol._)  
>Disclaimer: If only.<strong>

Chapter 14

I flopped down on my bed, sighing contentedly and closing my eyes. Cain had packed a bag and gone over to Mom's for the night, meaning I had the house to myself until Dad got off work. After a few minutes of enjoying the quiet, I pulled out my phone and texted Ronnie.

'**Haven't talked to you in a while. You okay?'**

I waited nervously for a reply, sighing in relief when the screen lit up.

'**Fine'**

I tapped the ID and hit call. It rang for a few minutes. And then, "Ben."

"Hey, Ron. How are you?"

A sigh. "I just told you. I'm fine. A little tired, considering you just woke me up, but fine. Promise."

"It's almost four," I said.

"I had a late night."

I sat down on the bed and rubbed my face, worry beginning to gnaw at my stomach. "You went to a party?"

"Yeah. It was pretty fun. All the booze I could drink, all the joints I could smoke. I haven't had this much fun in years. Which reminds me, do you want to come over tonight? I've got beer."

"You know I stopped drinking four months ago. And I think you should too. You know that stuff's bad for you."

I could practically see the eye-roll. "We've talked about this, Ben. It's how I cope with everything. Without it, I'm nothing. I thought you understood."

"I _do_ understand." And I did. I'd felt that way so many times. It was a dark place that I never wanted to visit again. "But Ronnie-"

"I don't want to hear it, Ben. Why did you call, anyway?"

I ran a hand through my hair and walked over to the window, opening it. The faint breeze felt good. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Got any big plans for tonight?"

"I'll probably stay at home. Maybe give Brian or Trix a call."

I scowled. _Brian._ He was an ass, always obnoxious and loud. And he took anyone he could get. I'd caught him trying to make advances on Ronnie, when she was too high to object. I'd beaten him to a pulp and nearly flared, warning him to back off or I'd tear him ligament by ligament. He hadn't touched her since. Trixie was better, but not by much. She was Brian's booty call, for lack of a better term, and didn't like Ronnie too much.

"Why don't you come over and we can have ourselves a little party of our own? I'll bet it'll top all the others."

_They're even more fun when you're aware enough to actually enjoy them._ I didn't say that, though. "My old man caught me coming out of my girlfriend's house this morning, so I'm under house arrest." Truth. He'd read me the riot act yet again as soon as Cain was gone as he grabbed his keys. I was to stay on the island unless it was an emergency.

"Girlfriend?"

Right. Tory and I were still relatively new as a couple. "Yeah. Tory and I made it official yesterday." Had it only been one day? It felt like so much longer.

"Tory? You mean that bitch who broke your heart?"

I sighed. "She's not a bitch, Ron. She didn't know."

Ronnie snorted. "Whatever. Just don't come crying to me when she does it again."

"Ron-"

"I don't want to hear it. You've spent too many nights getting drunk at my house and rambling to me about how you'd have given anything for another chance and that she had shut you out and that you deserved every bit of it." A breath. "I hated seeing you like that."

"I know." I took a seat on my mattress. "But it's over now. Things are getting better."

"Don't tell me that it's because of that damn shrink."

"No."

"And don't you _dare_ tell me it's because of Little Miss Oblivious."

"She's certainly helped," I said, rolling my eyes. Ronnie had plenty of trust issues, and I didn't blame her, but sometimes it got on my nerves. She was stubborn, too, so I knew that arguing over this was a waste of time. I decided to change the subject. "Oh, and my brother came down for a visit."

I heard a chuckle. "You don't have a brother."

"Yes I do. A twin. He goes to school down in Florida."

"Wait, you're serious?"

"Unfortunately."

This time she laughed. "And I thought _one_ of you was hard to put up with!" I smiled. "I'm gonna have to meet him. Is he like you at all?"

"We're polar opposites." I glanced around the room and once again fixated on the guitar case standing next to my closet. The binder seemed to stand out too.

_God, how annoying._

"Hey, Ben, I've gotta go. My uncle's calling the house and I can't ignore it again or he'll hire a nanny. I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure, Ron. Bye."

We hung up and I found myself walking over and lifting the old case, wiping off the dust before placing it on my bed and opening it.

The dark sunburst stared back at me.

_Hello, old friend._

I carefully picked it up, as if I were handling explosives. Something about this felt right. Holding it for the first time in around four years wasn't foreign as I'd expected it to be, but familiar, and filled me with a feeling similar to coming home to the smell of freshly baked cookies. I took the cloth and wiped off some of the dust, cleaning off the strings. My thumb brushed the B, and I winced. Hideously out of tune. I addressed that problem, then, just to make sure, I played a few chords. Before I knew it, I was playing Hero/Heroine, the very song I'd won the seventh grade talent show with. Even after so long, I still knew it by heart.

For close to an hour I continued to play various songs, even singing along every so often. My voice wasn't in too bad of shape, either. Puberty hadn't messed with it other than to make it deeper, which Mom would likely be relieved to hear.

And then she'd tell me to serenade Tory, to win her undying love with one of the most cliche acts known to man.

I'd never serenade her, though. No one could ever find out that I had picked up my guitar again. Hell, _I_ was surprised. But I guess I missed it. Playing again made me feel slightly more peaceful, and reminded me of a much simpler time in my life. It reminded me of when my grandfather gave it to me as my 5th birthday present.

"Treat her with love," he'd told me. "My father gave it to me when I was five, and now I'm giving it to you."

He was the only one who seemed to understand me. And then he died.

I put the guitar back in its case, making a mental note to redo the covering. It was peeling off. I picked up my binder full of songs and paged through out of curiosity, laughing to myself when I found the first song I'd ever written- an extreme profession of love to Mom's strawberry creme pie.

_Pie is good_

_The bestest food_

_And when my ma adds fruit_

_Give all other sweets the boot_

_Strawberry creme,_

_Every man's dream_

I'd had a bit of help from my older cousin on some of the wording and the meter, but the idea was mine, and Mom certainly seemed to adore it. She'd made me play it for my grandfather when he visited for Christmas. He'd grinned from ear to ear and told her that I had some raw talent with both guitar and voice, and that she should see what else I could do. That's how I learned to play piano. I could also kind of play the drums, but I didn't like them too much. There was no real melody to it, and you could create a beat with every instrument if you knew how to use it properly.

A sigh escaped my lips, placing the guitar back in its rightful place, as with the binder. Those days were long behind me.

* * *

><p>I shot up in bed, gasping for breath, drenched in sweat. I checked the clock. <em>2:26<em>.

This one had been different: instead of not being able to find her, I had to watch as Rome tortured her. Her hands and feet had been restrained, and he was slowly dissecting her. I couldn't break free from the chains, but I could hear her screams as she begged for me to save her. I couldn't move, just watch.

I got out of bed and ran a hand through my hair before going downstairs. I wasn't going to fall back asleep any time soon. Might as well watch some TV.

"Nightmare?"

I jumped and spun around, fists at the ready, only to relax when I saw it was Dad. He was sitting in he recliner, watching me. I hadn't noticed him before. When I didn't answer, he frowned worriedly. "Son, you're crying."

Self-consciously wiping my eyes, I mumbled, "It's nothing," and headed for the kitchen.

"But it _is_ something. Is this why you're not taking your sleeping pills? Because you're afraid that you won't be able to wake up?"

I filled a glass with water and raised it to my lips.

"Ben, talk to me."

"What is there to talk about?"

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "What was it about?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"If it's keeping you awake..."

"I'm fine."

Dad shook his head. "But you're not, Ben. You're still coping with what happened. And the only way you can expect to move past is to talk about it."

This man wasn't going to let me drink in peace. "It was just the Gamemaster."

"What was he doing?"

My shoulders tensed, and he exhaled slowly. "It was Tory, wasn't it? He was hurting her."

I turned to face him. How did he know?

It must've shown on my face, because he said, "You're pretty easy to read when you're vulnerable. Did staying with her help at all?" He caught my look and added, "I'm not going to let you sleep with her even if it did. I'm just curious."

"It did."

He nodded, as if it didn't surprise him at all. "You know you can't blame yourself for what happened. He's a sick bastard, and you helped bring him down. If it hadn't been for you, he would've killed so many people."

_If it hadn't been for me, someone would still be alive._

Dad clapped me on the back and walked towards the door. "And Ben," he said as he left, "crying doesn't make you a weakling. I cry too." He paused for half a second. "And so did Grandpa."

All of the emotional turmoil and confusion from today resurfaced, and after he was gone, I took a shuddering breath. Before I knew it, I was letting out all of the stress I'd been caused recently, in a few long moments that were more needed than I'd thought.

**I love father-son moments... And the idea of Ben being a musician. (evil grin)  
>Don't forget to review!<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Tory rested into me as I spooned her, my hand on her stomach and my face in her hair. After what had happened last night, I needed her and she seemed to understand. Dad was working and Cain was still at Mom's, so we had the place to ourselves. The idea didn't scare me like it did yesterday. She was in my arms, thumb-rubbing the back of my hand, her feet wrapped around mine like it was the most natural thing in the world, and that was more than enough for the moment. There was no pressure to do anything, just contentment.

My eyes closed as I breathed in her scent. I could only hear the steady sound of our breathing as we cuddled. The almost complete silence was comforting and I found myself drifting off.

"Ben?" Her voice was soft, as if she was afraid of shattering the moment.

"Hmm?"

"Do you play guitar?"

I was suddenly awake. "What're you talking about?"

She rolled onto her back and looked at me. "There's one next to your closet. I was just wondering." When I started to tell her that I didn't, she shook her head. "So you _do_."

"No, I don't."

"You're lying. You're tensed up and denying it way too much."

She knew me too well. Dammit. "I don't play," I said. "_Not anymore._"

Tory bit her lip and her face grew concerned. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Ben..."

I rolled my eyes. "Can you just drop it? Please?"

She must've seen something in the look I'd given her, because her eyes softened, and she nodded. "Of course."

The moment was officially shattered. I sighed, uncomfortable. Several seconds passed before Tory curled into me, her head tucked under my chin. "Sorry I pushed," she whispered.

"It's fine." My arms slid around her as I tugged her closer.

She pressed her lips to mine, giving me a slow, gentle kiss. It lasted for several long, wonderful minutes and I temporarily forgot why things had been awkward in the first place. My hands moved to her back, hers to my neck. We broke apart for a brief second before resuming, more heatedly. I rolled her on top of me, earning a surprised squeak that I thought was adorable.

As things escalated, her hands began to wander, and we moved onto our sides. She ran her nails down my back, which she knew made me tremble. My hands rested on her ribcage, and she moved one of them up, her way of telling me it was okay. I complied.

I had to pull away too soon, but peppered her face and neck with kisses to make up for it. She seemed to accept the apology, closing her eyes and smiling, cheeks coloring slightly. I kissed each one, then her forehead, then her nose. I was about to kiss her chin when she caught my lips with hers. Our lips moved together in a sweet, affectionate way that made me want to absolutely melt.

"Ben," she sighed when we pulled away, resting her forehead against mine. She took my hand, lacing her fingers through mine.

"Yes?"

She shook her head, smiling. "I don't know. Just... wow."

I had to agree with her. There was something about what had just happened that made everything seem so much more intimate. I wanted her in an entirely different way. My chest ached with a kind of longing, my throat filled with words I was terrified to say.

"Asshole, I'm home!"

I groaned. Of course. Tory rolled her eyes and hugged me around the waist.

"Just ignore it," she whispered, "and maybe it'll go away."

I chuckled and kissed her again. "That only works for your standard pests. He's an entirely new level he created himself."

She smiled. "Shall we call an exterminator?"

"Or maybe Coop can scare him off again. Or we could borrow Hi's cat."

She crinkled her brows in confusion. "And why is that?"

"That's how you get rid of rats." I stood, offering my hand. "Let's get out of here. Maybe we can go for a ride, or catch a movie in the bunker, or something."

"All right." She took my hand and didn't let go of it. Once again I found myself wondering how the hell I got so lucky. We made our way downstairs to find Cain flipping through channels.

"The Cubs suck so bad, even _you_ could beat-" He stared at Tory as if he'd never seen her before. "Hello."

"Hello, Cain."

"I didn't know you had company. I wouldn't have shouted. It's not proper to swear in the presence of a lady."

She rolled her eyes. "I suppose you may be forgiven this once." I tightened my grip on her. I didn't want him to be talking to her at all, let alone joking around.

He grinned. "Well I thank you for your merciful kindness, madam. You two have fun?"

"We were until you interrupted," I snapped.

"How was I supposed to know you had your girlfriend over? She's technically not supposed to be here, unless you want to hear Dad's sob-story lecture again."

I gritted my teeth, and Tory placed a warning hand on my chest. _Don't lose it, Ben,_ she seemed to be saying. _It's not worth it._

"So is he a good kisser?" he asked.

"Enough," I ground out.

"Hey, I'm just making conversation."

"He's a great kisser," Tory said with a smirk. "Simply orgasmic."

He stared at her in gleeful surprise, mouth agape. Everyone was shocked that she had said that- even Tory. Her cheeks were red.

"I guess he has the golden tongue in more ways than one." He waggled his brows. "Just wait until you get to experience his golden fingers."

"Enough!" I growled.

"What're you talking about?" She looked at me, head cocked to the side.

"You mean you really don't know?" Cain laughed. "Baby Bro here is the champion musician. That's the only thing he has on me. He was, like, the greatest guitarist ever, and his voice captured the attention of so many girls. There was actually one time, it was so funny, this girl Tracey was totally _in love_ with Bennyboy over there, and since we look slightly alike, she thought I was him. We actually went out to a movie before she realized it was me. I got slapped so hard." He laughed again. Then he turned to me. "Why'd you stop?"

"You know why," I seethed. And he did. It was his damn fault.

His brows arched. "Wait, seriously? _That's_ why you stopped?" He snorted. "I thought you would've gotten over that by now."

"How can I get over something like that? God, you're such an asshole." With that, I turned.

"Wait, is _this_ why you hate me?"

To answer him, I left the house, Tory in tow.

**Sorry this one's kinda short.  
><strong>**But, hey, what do _you_ think Cain did to Ben? (WingedArcher01 and viralsisamazing may not answer because they helped me edit this story and therefore already know. And they are _sworn to secrecy_, so don't inbox them and ask what he did, because then I'll know. And I'll probably applaud your enthusiasm for the story. But I'll pretend to be mad!  
><strong>**Soon to come:  
><strong>**Answers.**


	16. Chapter 16

**This one's kind of short, and so is the one after that, so I apologize in advance.  
><strong>**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! Unfortunately, though, none of you guessed correctly. It will be revealed, though, in this very chapter!  
><strong>**Read on!**

Chapter 16

"Ben."

When I didn't answer, she tugged my arm lightly. "_Ben_."

"What, Tory?"

I could practically hear her narrow her eyes in irritation. "What the hell was _that_?"

My fists clenched and unclenched. I wanted to kill something. Namely _him._ "I hate that guy."

"What did he do to you, Ben?"

"What did he do to me?" I spat. "_What did he do to me?_" I'd finally snapped. "That son of a bitch smashed my guitar!"

Tory grew quiet. I kept walking, sensing that she was behind me. "So it's true then?" Her voice was careful.

"What's true?"

"You were a guitarist."

We reached the bunker and I went inside, half-expecting Hi to greet us from the Xbox One he'd insisted on getting. We were greeted with silence. Good. I didn't want to have to kick him out. "And I was good at it too."

She watched me, waiting for me to speak. I think she knew that I was going to tell her. "I'd won the sixth and seventh grade talent shows singing and playing. When the eighth grade talent show rolled around, my parents got me a good luck gift: the very guitar I'd had my eye on for over a year. An Affinity Stratocaster. When we went to the kitchen for some pie, _he_ stayed in the living room. I heard a crash, ran back, and saw him standing there, holding my Affinity in two pieces. The neck was snapped and the body was almost unrecognizable." I took a breath. "We went everywhere we could, but no one could repair it. So I buried it in the backyard."

Tory pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Ben. I didn't know. Why do you still have the case, though?"

"I don't. It served as the casket."

"Then what's in your room?"

I sighed. "That's Aurora. My grandfather gave it to me. It's been in the family for forever."

"And Aurora _is_ a guitar, right?"

In spite of the situation, I chuckled. "Naw, she's the corpse of my great-great grandmother. Her son just couldn't seem to let her go."

"Does he operate the Bates Motel, too?"

I took her hand. "Now do you understand why I hate him?"

She nodded slowly, taking a seat. I sat next to her. "But it just bothers me that it's separated you two so much. I mean, I completely get where you're coming from. If anyone ever did something like that to Jal-"

"Jal?"

"The stuffed red panda on my bed. Mom put it in my crib with me. But anyway, if someone ever did anything to her, I'd hate them too. But Ben, it's so unhealthy."

I shrugged. "I've managed to survive for quite some time. And it's not like we got along to begin with."

"So what happened just solidified the disdain you two possess for one another?"

"Exactly."

"Ben-"

"Tory, please." I took both of her hands in mine. "I know you only want to help, but nothing you say or do is going to fix the two of us, okay? So just... stay out of this one?"

She met my eyes and stared into them for several moments, looking for some form of doubt. "Okay," she finally consented.

"Thank you," I breathed, leaning in and kissing her chastely.

"Tone down the PDA, you two! I'd really like to keep my lunch down if you don't mind." Hi strolled in, grabbing his controller and turning on the console. Then he seemed to notice the heaviness in the room. "You two aren't fighting _already_, are you?"

"No," Tory said, standing and pulling me up with her. "We were actually just going for a ride."

He smirked. "What _kind_ of a ride?"

I slapped the back of his head before heading out. Tory followed, waving goodbye to him.

"Have fun, but not too much!" he called to us.

"So what was that about?" I asked Tory as she led me toward the docks.

She shrugged. "I just didn't really think he needed to be hearing our conversation."

I nodded. "We just can't get any privacy today, can we?" A thought popped into my head. "Whitney will probably need help moving. We might actually have a chance there, whenever that will be."

"Never."

I turned to her. "What?"

She glowered at the sand beneath our feet. "She's not moving after all. She moved her belongings into storage so she could prep the house for sale. I'm stuck with that life-sized Barbie Doll until I go to college, and hell, maybe not even then. I don't think she'll give me any peace until she's dead." She rolled her eyes. "With my luck, that face cream she puts on at night gives her the power of immortality or something."

I chuckled and began to untie the boat. Tory helped, and accepted my hand when I helped her climb on. "So where to?"

"Somewhere we can't be bothered."

"Pluto it is, then."

Tory hugged me from behind and kissed the side of my head. I smiled, appreciating the gesture.

"The middle of the ocean sounds nice," she offered quietly. I nodded, settling down into my captain's seat. We drove for a few minutes before I killed the motor and watched the waves. It was incredibly soothing.

"This still your favorite place to be?"

"Yeah," I answered, still fixated on the water.

"I think it's about to get even better."

I swiveled to face her. "How s-" I was cut off by her lips. My eyes closed on their own volition, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. She straddled my lap, tangling her hands into my hair. I groaned when her hips settled into mine. It wouldn't be long before she found out just how much I liked her kisses.

"Ben," she whimpered, biting my neck softly. I inhaled sharply when her hips rocked into mine. _What's gotten into her?_ "Touch me?"

I ran my hands up and down her back, eyes rolling back into my head when she nipped my collarbone. Her fingers dipped underneath the collar of my shirt. She pressed herself against me more firmly, pressing her lips to mine forcefully, grabbing my arms and pushing them behind the chair. I couldn't breathe, and I absolutely loved it. My body was on fire, my head swam. She began to nibble my earlobe and I almost lost it. As soon as she let go of my arms, my hands went to her hips as I pulled her even closer. It shouldn't have been possible, but it was. She moaned my name, squirming in pleasure. I hissed at the friction it caused and buried my face in her neck, paying special attention to her pulse. I wanted to make her feel like she had the first time we'd kissed, and the night following that.

"Ben," she moaned. "You feel so good..."

"Mmm-hmm." I nuzzled her before claiming her lips again.

She suddenly pulled back, breathing hard. I watched her through half-lidded eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Tory bit her lip. "I don't know what happened. I just kind of..."

"Hey, I'm not complaining."

She smiled. "Doesn't this scare you, though?"

I shook my head. "I know when to stop. But," I added, "if you're uncomfortable with anything, you know to tell me, right?"

"I know." She blushed, looking down. "This just feels so natural to me that it's sometimes hard to remember that we've only been together for three days, and that we're so young. I just get these urges to... you know." The blush spread to the rest of her face. "And I don't know if I can stop myself before it's too late. And don't take that wrong. It's just... I mean, we both know we're not ready, right?"

"Right."

"But it's so easy to forget when it feels so good and when you obviously know what you're doing."

My chest swelled with pride. I was so good that she thought I'd actually had experience before, when in truth I'd never gotten past first base until a few days ago.

I met her eyes and entwined our fingers. "I'm sure we'll get plenty of opportunities to practice our self control."

She smiled and hugged me. "You wanna get some more _practice_ in now?"

My answer was a long, heated kiss.

**Thoughts?**  
><strong>Soon to come:<br>Cussing in foreign languages!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Another short chapter, but hopefully this will give you some insight into Cain's mind.**

Chapter 17

The next day went by pretty slowly. Cain and I avoided each other, Hi and Shelton were both busy, and Whitney had whisked Tory off to go shopping. So I re-watched episodes 1 through 9 of Star Trek TOS.

Around seven, Tory texted me, asking me to come outside. When I did, I found she wasn't alone.

Cain was with her.

Dread formed in the pit of my stomach, and I shook my head. _Dammit._

"You two have been fighting for years," she said. "Isn't it time to move past this?"

"No," I said. "Tory, you told me you were going to drop it."

"But you two are brothers." Her eyes were pleading. "Don't you care about each other _at all_?"

Cain rolled his eyes. "Listen honey, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but some things just can't be fixed."

"I agree," she said, stepping in front of him when he tried to leave. "But this isn't one of them. Can't you find _something_ about each other that you like? Anything at all?"

"No," he and I said at the same time. We glared at each other.

She smiled. "But you two just agreed! That has to count for something."

"Tory-" I started.

"Look," she cut me off. "I'm expecting you two to become best buddies or anything. I just want you to be able to tolerate one another for more than five minutes at a time."

Cain shook his head. "And how do you think we should learn? Join hands and sing _Kumbaya_?"

"If that's what it takes!" she said, throwing up her hands. "Come on, guys, I just want to help!" She turned to Cain. "I think we need to deal with the problem at the source. Why did you smash Ben's guitar?"

I gritted my teeth. "Stop it," I growled.

"I didn't smash it."

"Liar!" I snapped.

"I am not!" He stepped closer. "You never listened to me. No one ever listened to me! Not Mom, not Dad, not Grandpa, no one! They only listened to good little Ben, the musician, the great cook, the smart one! Well you know what? I'm better at sports, I'm the best damn public speaker, I know how to charm a lady, and I'm way smarter than you are now! I can speak four foreign languages, Ben! How many can you speak? So yeah, _pudor tu, fick dich, que te jodan, _and _vas te faire encule!_" With that, he stormed off.

I wheeled on Tory. "I told you to stay out of it!"

She still seemed shocked about Cain's outburst. "I-I was only trying to help," she said. Her voice sounded small.

"Well some help you were! God, you _always_ do this!"

"Do what?"

"Interfere with things that should be left alone! I don't know why I'm surprised."

Tory grew defensive. "Look, I said I was sorry."

"And I said to stay out of it!"

"And I thought I could help you two out! I've dealt with things way bigger than this before... I thought-"

"That it would be easy?" I shook my head. "There are some things that you can't change, Victoria. Cain and I will always hate each other no matter what anyone says or does. Could you please get that through your thick skull?"

"But that's almost exactly what Cain said! Don't you get it, Ben? All of this fighting needs to stop!" Her voice softened from _steel_ to _rock_. "I think you two are more alike than you think."

That hurt for some reason. "Hell no. I'm _nothing_ like him! And he is _not_ my brother! I _told_ you what he did!"

"But maybe it was an accident."

I shook my head so hard I began to see stars. "Trust me, it wasn't."

"You found him holding it in his hands, yet he says he didn't do it. Why would he bother to lie if the proof's right there? Ben, I think you should at least try to listen-"

"He doesn't deserve to be listened to! And he denied it because that's what he does! He thinks he can charm his way out of anything, and then he plays the victim when things don't go as planned." I took a deep breath, pushing my flare down. This shouldn't be happening. We were just fine yesterday, and now we were at each other's throats.

All because of Cain. I wanted to kill him now more than ever.

"Don't listen to what he has to say. He's an ass."

"It obviously runs in the family."

My head whipped around just in time to see Tory turn and storm off. Guilt settled into my stomach and I called after her. When she didn't respond or look back, I punched the wall, wincing when my knuckles made contact.

What was wrong with me? I shouldn't have yelled at her. After all, she was only trying to resolve a conflict.

_No,_ I told myself. _Don't feel bad. She said she'd stay out of it, but she didn't. You had every right to be angry._

But that didn't mean I had the right to snap like I did.

I ran an angry hand through my hair. Too much to think about. I needed to stop before my head exploded.

I glanced at the stretch of land between me and the ocean. It beckoned me, promised thoughtlessness and repetition, while the townhouses offered confrontation and chaos.

I didn't even need to think about it.

I broke into a run.

**Thoughts? Who do you think was in the right for this one?  
>Oh yeah, and don't repeat what Cain said in the foreign languages. (I got them off of a website that teaches you swear words in other languages, so don't hate me if I got any of them wrong!)<br>Soon to come:  
>Cain insulting Ben: The Sequel<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Question time!  
>To the reviewer entitled 'Guest': Thank you for enjoying my story! However, you will need to be more specific in telling me when I used the word 'love' in the context you were referring to, because I don't understand what you mean. Tory and Ben are in that stage in their relationship (forgetting about the recent fight for a moment) where they're content to just enjoy each other's company, so no, I do not think a big love confession is in their near future. Besides, Ben's waaaay too insecure about how he feels to talk about it openly because he's still terrified of losing her. I understand where you're coming from- they <em>are<em> kids, and a bit too emotionally immature to get the whole meaning of love. That being said, I do believe that they are in love, that is, as in love as two teenagers can really be. To the second part of your question, I try to post daily, and if I miss a day, I try to post two chapters to make up for it. My schedule is a bit hectic right now, but I'm trying to keep it constant.**

Chapter 18

"Trouble in paradise?" Cain snapped when I came in from my run, wiping sweat off my forehead. "Tell your little girlfriend to mind her own damn business, or at least stay out of mine."

I wasn't in the mood to put up with him. Never had been. Especially not now. "Shut your mouth," I growled at him, "or I'll knock your teeth out."

Apparently, he wasn't in the mood either. "You think you're so tough, Benjamin?" His words were malice. "Talk shit to me and never follow through? A real man always follows through. A real man doesn't chicken out. _A real man_ isn't afraid to throw a punch. _A real man_ doesn't hold pathetic grudges over useless memories! So, by my calculations, dearest brother, you are _not_ a real man. Which you've made clear to everyone you know."

_Don't lose it. Don't lose it. You're supposed to be showing signs of improvement. Prove to Tory that you're not rash and unthinking. He doesn't matter. He means nothing. He's just a dick._

Confident that I wouldn't kill him, I headed for the stairs.

"And there you are, walking away from your problems like always. You're just a child." Then his voice grew colder. "It's no wonder Tory hates you now."

I didn't remember breaking my stride. I didn't remember turning back around. And I certainly didn't remember launching myself at him, ready to kill. But soon we were rolling around on the floor, kicking, hitting, even trying to bite. This wasn't like our fights before, when we just wanted to embarrass or threaten. The only thing we could agree on right now was that we were out for blood. And I was going to get it if I had to tear out his throat. We struggled before I pinned him to the ground, raising my arm to punch him, when his eyes widened and I'd realized I'd flared.

I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, willing it to fade, which gave Cain the perfect opportunity to knock me in the jaw. I jolted, shocked, and he rolled out from underneath me, shoving me down onto the ground, hands going around my neck. I fought against his grasp, but with no luck. As soon as I began to see spots, he climbed off. I shot up and punched him in the face. He yelled in pain and grabbed his nose, which was spurting blood.

"What the hell is going on in here!?"

We both turned to see Dad, looking even more pissed than I was. He shook his head and grabbed both of our arms, dragging us to the kitchen. "I swear to God, I leave for ten minutes, and when I come back, you're both about to murder one another! Why the hell can't you two get along?"

"I hate him," Cain whined, grabbing a rag and placing it on his nose. "I think he broke it."

And I didn't give a damn as to whether or not I broke it, because at the moment, I hated him too.

"I don't care how you two feel about each other! You are _brothers_, for Christ's sake! At least be civil towards each other!"

"I would if he didn't always attack me!" Cain said, exasperated.

He turned to him, furious. "Well, maybe if you'd start treating him kindly, then he wouldn't feel the need to!"

He visibly winced at Dad's words, and I felt a small bit of satisfaction. _Doesn't feel so great on the receiving end, does it now?_

"And as for you." He was on me now. "You need to get over it. It's been years. Grudges are unhealthy for you. I thought Nancy told you that already? I thought you knew better, after what happened, to just focus on using your words."

_After what happened. Use your words._

_You're crazy and belong in an institution._

No, I'm not.

"You want words?" I growled out, voice barely a whisper. "In that case, I have a few choice words I'd like to say."

He hit me then. It wasn't that hard of a slap, just a swat on the back of the head that stung slightly on contact. But I reacted like he'd decked me, stumbling back. I hadn't been physically disciplined since I was six, when I'd colored a boat on the wall.

"You hold your tongue, Benjamin Elliott," he snapped. "Remember who you're talking to. Go shower. Then we're going to talk." When Cain snickered, he wheeled on him. "You didn't get out of this one, either."

I trudged up the stairs and, upon entering the bathroom, turned on the water, stripping and checking myself in the mirror for injuries. A bruise was forming on my jaw, but that was it. More would probably appear tomorrow.

As I washed myself, I thought about Tory. Our first fight. God, how could I have been so stupid? I mean, she wasn't entirely right, either, but I was wrong too. How long would it be until I caved and apologized? Until she did?

Was this it?

I shook my head sharply. No, it wasn't. We'd only been together for four days. Not nearly long enough to be able to break up just because of a difference in opinion.

But I'd made her cry. I could see it in her eyes as she left. I hated knowing that I had caused her that much pain. I hated wondering if she'd shut me out again.

I hated the knowledge that it was likely she would.

A feeling of dread formed in the pit of my stomach. This was different from anything I'd ever felt before. I'd felt lost prior to now, and this didn't feel the same. It felt... wrong. Something was up. For the rest of my shower, I was on edge. I checked my phone once I was in my room. Nothing. I typed up a text to Tory.

_I didn't mean to make you cry._

I deleted it.

_I'm really sorry, Tor._

Nope.

_I'm the biggest jackass to ever exist._

I shook my head in frustration. That would make her feel like she was right. How could I tell her everything that I needed to when I couldn't even figure out what this strange feeling was? I sighed and tried one more time.

_I miss you._

Too clingy. She'd think I was a creep and definitely never talk to me again. What was I supposed to do? If only they'd covered _this_ in school, and not the Quadratic Formula (which I have never used in everyday life)?

_Tell her how you feel?_

I squashed the idea and tossed my phone onto my bed.

"You really messed this one up, Blue," I grumbled, heading downstairs to face my father.

Cain and I passed each other at the bottom. His face was tight. Angry. And maybe a little ashamed, too. Neither of us said anything. We were past the point of being able to even pretend anymore.

Dad was on the phone, so I waited at the table, pondering what to do with my life. Then I heard Tory's name. I turned fast enough to cause whiplash, watching his form as he paced. He was tense. Worried. A quick glimpse of his face made every hair on my body stand on end. I shot up and was next to him. He grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it tightly. His way of telling me to stay quiet, to be strong.

I heard the voice on the other end of the line. Ruth Stolowitski. All I could pick up on was _Bon Secours_.

A local hospital.

_Oh, please God, no._

"I'll tell him." And then he hung up. He turned to me, face somber. "Ben, sit down-"

"Just tell me." My voice was strangely raspy.

He hesitated for a brief second, then nodded. "There's been an accident."

My fingers dug into my palms.

"She was shot. She's in surgery right now, so we can go see her tomo- Ben?"

I was already running for the door.

"Ben, wait! Don't go right now! You wouldn't be able to see her!"

_I'd like to see them stop me._

"Ben!" He'd somehow caught up to me and grabbed my arm. "Ben, stop!"

"No!" I yelled. "I can't lose her!"

Either he let me go, or I just yanked my arm from his grasp and took off. I wasn't running fast enough. I'd never be able to run fast enough.

**SNAP**

I gritted my teeth, not letting myself stop and get used to the new feeling. No time. I had to see her. I had to see her.

_This is all your fault, you bastard. If you hadn't started that stupid fight, you two would probably be in the bunker, or on _Sewee_, not getting shot by-_

Who the hell had decided it was okay to lay a finger on my Tory? When I got my hands on them... Death wasn't a gracious enough punishment.

_Get to her first. Get to her and hold her and apologize over and over and tell her that you're the biggest idiot in the world and _then _go after that maniac._

_That is, if she doesn't die first._

I picked up my pace and lept onto the boat, forgetting to untie her. "You damn piece of junk!" I roared, tearing the ropes and speeding off. I pulled up to the dock, killed the motor, jumped off and ran. I heard the crash. I didn't care. That boat didn't matter. Only Tory did.

I'd sworn to myself that I wouldn't lose her again. The thought that I might break that oath- in the most unsolvable way- pushed me harder. I sped to the hospital, likely wearing my shoes down. I didn't give a damn.

_Get to her. Get to Tory. GettoTorygettoTorygettoTory._

She was all that mattered to me. One of the few good things in my life. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

If she died...

So would I.

**So both of my betas told me that they hated me when I sent them this chapter. Would I be correct in saying that you hate me now, too?  
><strong>**Soon to come:  
>A blast from the past<strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**To all those who said they hated me for the last chapter: I figured as much :)  
><strong>**And there are only 5 chapters left in the story (including this one)!**

Chapter 19

I dashed into the waiting room, ready to do whatever it took to get to her. I frantically searched for someone who could give information.

My eyes zeroed in on a single figure.

Chance Claybourne.

I rushed him, pinning him to the wall, one arm going over his throat, the other over his shoulders, rendering him virtually immobile. He blanched, surprised, then his eyes narrowed.

"What did you do?" I ground out.

He glowered at me. "I saved her life." When I added pressure to his throat, he said, "She wanted to meet up, to talk about a deal for our condition." His voice had lowered to a whisper. "I was almost there when I heard the gunshot."

"Who was it?"

He shook his head as much as he was able to. "I don't know. My first instinct was to kill him. I snapped his neck before he had the chance to fight back."

The knowledge of her attacker's death didn't soothe me at all. If anything, it put me more on edge. We stared at each other for several long moments before Chance said, "Let me go, Ben. You're not doing any good." His voice seemed slightly knowing. I didn't like it. What could he know about me? And it would be so easy to teach him a lesson right here and now, to show him that it wasn't a good idea to cross me. So many problems would be solved.

But I stepped back when he struggled again. "Release your flare," he hissed. When I did, he glanced around. "Kit should be here any second now. Let's not give him more to worry about than he already has. I'm going to have a talk with one of the nurses, see to it that Tory's given the best treatment possible."

"Where is she?" My voice was hoarse.

"In surgery. You can't see her yet."

"How long?"

"Ten minutes or so. Doctor said it should only take around an hour, but he didn't make any promises." The secretary returned to her desk, and Chance strolled over to her. I began to pace, at a loss for what to do.

A figure ran past me, and I jumped, ready to fight, but he was already at the desk.

"Where's my daughter?"

Kit.

Chance placed a hand on his shoulder and filled him in. Then Kit took a clipboard and began to fill it out. I expected him to panic. I expected him to grab Chance by the shoulders and shake him fiercely, demanding to know. After all, she was his only daughter, and anyone with eyes could see how much he loved her even though he'd only known her for less than two years.

She tended to have that effect on people.

When Kit stood again and handed in the clipboard, he muttered something about needing coffee, and I understood. He needed to keep busy. He knew that if he let his mind linger on the current state of Tory for more than a brief second, he'd collapse and not be able to get back up.

He seemed to finally notice my presence. "Ben? When did you get here?"

"Just before you did."

He shook his head. "How?"

"Ruth called my father."

"Word travels fast. You want anything?"

"No, thank you." I watched him leave before continuing to wear a path in the floor. Seconds felt like hours. Chance was off with some nurse, telling her that he'd buy the hospital if that was what it took. No one else was here yet, but I had a feeling they would show up soon.

_Tory..._

I felt sick to my stomach. I was sweating. My hands were trembling. I couldn't figure out what to do. There was nothing _to_ do, really, other than pace, worry, and regret.

It _was_ my fault. I'd started the fight. I'd driven her away. I might as well have pulled the trigger.

If she didn't make it...

_No._ She would survive. She was Tory, after all. She'd almost been blown up on multiple occasions, and was even taken captive once. After everything that had happened, a random shooting wasn't likely to be the the thing to do her in. She'd go out much more dramatically, with more of a bang.

A humorless smile tugged at my lips. Terrible, sick, play on words.

But Tory was virtually invincible, easily the strongest person I'd ever met. Easily the greatest. She was so smart, and funny, and incredibly kind, and way too good for me.

Was this a sign that we shouldn't be together?

I'd never been very religious- I described myself as agnostic most of the time- but now I was questioning it. Was some higher power telling me that she was a little too perfect to stay with me?

_You could've just shot me a text. I would've listened._

No, I would've written it off as some sort of sick prank and went right on enjoying her company.

_I'm going insane,_ I realized. _I _seriously _believe that a gunshot wound is some kind of sign from God?_

_I guess I _do _belong at that hospital, after all._

I had to catch myself on the wall and focus on my breathing before I passed out or flared. I closed my eyes and forced myself to think about something else. That was the only way I'd be able to keep going.

But everything reminded me of her. School was where she wasn't, Ronnie thought she was a bitch, Cain was mad at her, Mom wanted to meet her, she'd never heard me play guitar or sing, she thought I was a great cook, she and I made out on _Sewee_, Dad thought she and I were having sex, Nancy thought I was dependent on her, she too closely resembled the ocean, she loved to be on Loggerhead, she wanted to go to college, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't seem to picture a future without her.

Would I lose her before I got the chance to tell her?

"Ben."

I turned to see Chance. His lips were pursed, jaw tense. Worried.

"What?" I could barely talk.

"There's another detail I remembered. I figured you have the right to know. Sit down."

"Just tell me." I already hated how this paralleled the earlier conversation with my father.

He took a breath. "When I found Tory, after I killed the man that shot her, she was rambling. Most of it was gibberish, but two things stuck out. The first was that she was afraid that she wouldn't get to apologize to you and some guy named Cain. The second... You're sure you don't want to-?"

"Tell me."

Chance closed his eyes. "I think I'm getting this right. She said that it wasn't just some random shot. He wanted to hit her. I'm pretty sure she said that he was an accomplice to someone."

"Who?" I'd find out by any means necessary, then find whoever it was, then I'd torture him. I'd break one bone for each drop of blood that was spilled by my Tory.

And then, with two words, Chance Claybourne changed everything.

"The Gamemaster."

**Congratulations to RandomRower19 for guessing correctly (well, mostly correct because he was an accomplice, not the actual Gamemaster himself). Am I that predictable?  
>And I have a question for my dear readers: I'm planning on writing a second story about a minor character (I'll give you a hint: I mentioned her in the chapter 12 AN). Would you guys be interested in reading it?<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**I'd like to thank everyone who reads this for supporting me for so long!  
>Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. But I DO own... a laptop, a guitar, and a delicious box of devil's food donuts!<br>Three more chapters after this one! How does that make you feel? Relieved? Sad? Angry? Like you want to find out where I live and threaten bodily harm if I don't continue, much like I'm thinking about doing to Brendan if Tory and Ben don't end up together? (And I mean that in the nicest possible way, to all those who might take offense.)  
><strong>

Chapter 20

_Tick-tick-tick-tick-_

"Ben."

_Tick-tick-tick-tick-_

"Ben?"

_Tick-tick-tick-tick-_

"For the love of God, Ben, look at me!"

I kept my eyes on the white wall, focusing on the sound of the clock. Just the clock. That was constant. The only constant in the insanity of the world surrounding me. This allowed me to shut down, to not have to think about anything. I felt numb.

"Benjamin!"

Someone shook me, breaking me from the peace of obliviousness. I glowered at the figure crouched in front of me. He was snapping his fingers in front of my face, concerned.

Dad.

He was obviously relieved to get some sort of reaction from me. "Hey, Bud," he said, voice careful. I blinked slowly, not ready to reply. I'd never be ready. He peered into my eyes. "Ben, can you talk to me? Please?" He received no response. I was only vaguely aware of his presence, hearing him and seeing his lips move. I knew he was speaking, but none of the words remained in my head long enough to catch. I felt like I was trapped, floating in midair, cut off from the rest of the world. Part of me couldn't remember where I was.

Part of me knew everything.

"Can you hear me?" He grabbed my face and made me look at him. "Come on, Ben. Snap out of it."

Seconds ticked by. Or had it been minutes? Days? Hours? He finally left, and I heard hushed voices several feet away. I didn't pay attention.

"Victoria Brennan?"

I shot up, searching for the source of the voice. It was a doctor. His mask was around his neck, and he was pulling off his gloves. I centered in on him, waiting for news. If I only listened to one thing for the rest of my life, this was it. My heart sped up as my mind recalled the time spent here. Reminded me that it was all my fault, more so than I'd originally thought.

"How is she?" a voice asked.

"The surgery was successful. The bullet just missed her bone and went straight through, so there was nothing to remove. However, it hit very close to the femoral artery. You're going to want to keep her off her leg for a few weeks. Right now, it doesn't look like she's going to suffer any kind of nerve damage, but we can't be certain right now."

"Can I see her?"

The doctor shook his head. "She's still in recovery. We're keeping a close eye on her, making sure she remains stable. If all goes well, you'll be able to see her in about an hour. She's a very lucky young lady." He left, and I sank back down into my chair, head in my hands. She was going to be okay. She was going to survive. The relief made me tremble.

But she was still going to suffer from the pain. The pain that I had caused. She wouldn't have gone out if we hadn't fought. She wouldn't have gotten shot if I hadn't ever mentioned her to Simon Rome.

Why did everything have to trace back to him?

I took another breath and looked at the clock. Was it really only nine-thirty? It felt like it had been much longer. And I had to wait even longer to see her. I couldn't bring myself to pace- I felt too weak. So I got lost in the monotonous ticking of the clock, let it become all I knew.

* * *

><p>A hand on my shoulder. I didn't react, even when they tried to pull me up. A figure sat down next to me, plopping down heavily.<p>

"Hey, Dumbass."

The voice sounded foreign, but familiar. I looked at the figure and felt surprised to realize it was me. He took my arm and dragged me up, past several familiar faces. Hi and Shelton. Mom and Dad. Kit and Whitney. When had they all gotten here?

I was led outside. The cool night air had me shaking my head sharply. I didn't like it out here. Too dark. Too cold. Too far from Tory.

Hell, anywhere was too far from Tory.

A sudden, sharp pain on my cheek. I jumped, placing my hand on the sore spot. Where had _that_ come from?

"It's not as fun when you don't react," the other me sighed. "Come on, Ben. We can't lose you now. If you fell off the wagon, I'd have no one to torment. And nobody would try to make _my _life a living hell."

I stared blankly. This made no sense.

"Well, if you're not going to talk, then you might as well listen. This is probably the only chance I'm gonna get without you opening your big mouth to interrupt." He- I?- ran a hand through his- my?- hair. "I didn't smash your Affinity. I mean, I _did,_ but not on purpose." A breath. "I'd always liked music, too, but I couldn't hold a tune to save my life. That was your thing, not mine. And when you got that guitar, I thought it was so cool, but I knew you'd never let me touch it. So when you guys went into the kitchen, I picked it up and started to carry it to the couch, just to see if I could remember any chord, but then I tripped on that damn rug Mom used to have, and I fell. It hit the coffee table, and my weight snapped the neck and crushed the body." As I watched, a single tear fell. "We never got along as kids, but I never wanted to hurt you so badly. I mean, you're my brother."

_Cain._ That's who was talking to me.

I remembered Tory's words: "_You're more alike than you think."_

Maybe she was right. I mean, there were few things she was wrong about. Why not this?

I shook my head sharply, mentally kicking myself for revisiting the very place I'd wanted to steer clear of. Nancy would probably call it a relapse. I was showing symptoms of PTSD again. She'd probably prescribe me a whole new list of drugs.

_No. I'm done, dammit._

I made myself come out of it, rolling my shoulders, gritting my teeth at the burst of emotional pain. After a few moments, I was okay enough to continue to function.

Cain's words sunk in and my head began to hurt. This was the first time I'd heard his side of the story. The memory of that day resurfaced. Cain had been crying and hadn't tried to stop me when I hit him. All he did was say he was sorry over and over again.

Maybe it _was_ time to let it go.

We stared at each other and I realized that the tear was still there. He'd never wiped it off. He probably didn't know.

"I always knew I was the tough one," I said. "Weakling."

"Brain over brawn, Dumbass." There was a smile on his face, however small. "So you're back?"

"I guess." I turned to go inside. "But this doesn't mean we're friends now."

Cain snorted. "Friends? Who said anything about being friends? You'd totally tank my reputation."

I rolled my eyes, going back to the waiting room. Hi and Shelton greeted me with a clap on the back and a fist bump. "We tried to talk to you earlier, but you were totally out of it," Shelton said. "You gonna be okay?"

I nodded stoically. They were here now. They needed some strength. They needed me now that Tory wasn't here.

"Any news since I've been out?"

"Zilch." Hi plopped down into a chair, biting a thumbnail. "So what's Claybourne doing here?"

"He was the one who found her." _And I was the one who drove her off._ "He called it in."

"What was she doing out in the first place?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I looked around the room. Mom and Dad were sitting on opposite sides of the room. Mom was on her cell, texting someone.

"She seems to be doing that a lot," Cain said, following my gaze. "Always on her cell. Calling, texting. God, she even giggles sometimes."

I didn't want to think about what that could mean.

Thankfully, Kit stopped the dangerous train of thought. "How're you holding up?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "She's going to live." That was the only way I could begin to describe how I felt.

"I know." He rubbed my shoulder. "She's going to live." Tears swam in his eyes. Everyone seemed to be crying tonight. "I was so worried," he admitted in an exhale. His hand shook. He lost a little bit of self control at that moment, and I didn't know what to do other than put my own hand on his arm. "I'm sorry." He shook his head. "The last thing you need is to see me lose my nerve."

"We're all on edge," I offered awkwardly.

Kit smiled at me then, changing the subject. "We've known each other for five years, and yet I never knew you had a twin."

"I get that a lot."

He laughed. "I almost didn't believe Tory when she told me, but seeing it now... There's no denying it."

Cain shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."

They made small talk while I took up pacing once again, having nothing better to do. Once again, I let Tory take center stage in my head. What was I going to do when she woke up? Did she hate me now more than ever? I wouldn't blame her if she did.

But what was I going to do without her? I tried to imagine myself going back to where I'd been before she'd forgiven me in the first place. Hanging out with the wrong crowds, late-night boozing with Ronnie, flaring every morning in a desperate attempt to feel as close to her as I'd once been.

I never wanted to go back there.

The doctor strolled out. I could see him more clearly now. He was in his 50's with salt and pepper hair. He looked like the stereotypical doctor. I was the first to notice him and therefore the first to approach. "How is she?" I asked him, voice low. "Victoria Brennan," I added when he didn't answer right away.

Kit walked up to us. "Doctor?"

That seemed to be what he was waiting for. "She's out of recovery, resting in room 235. The anesthesia has yet to wear off, so-"

I took off before he could finish, running to the stairs, not bothering with the elevator. I wouldn't be able to stand still until I was at her side.

A quick look at the directory told me to go left and I did, watching the numbers fly by. _233, 234, 235-_

I stopped short and burst into the door. A nurse looked up, alarmed. I didn't pay any attention to her and ran to Tory's bedside, collapsing onto my knees, resting my head on the mattress, grabbing her hand. I breathed in and out, fighting for control. When I'd convinced myself I had it, I looked up at her.

She was paler than usual, her freckles standing out even more and her eyelids slightly flushed. She had and IV in her arm, and was hooked up to a heart monitor.

The sight of her, unnaturally still, looking so vulnerable, seemed to shatter the dam entirely, and I began to cry, sobbing silently into the sheets.

A few minutes passed before I could pull myself together. I wiped my face and grabbed a chair, dragging it to the side of her bed, taking her hand once again and rubbing it with my thumb. I watched her as she slept off the drugs, finding solace in the steadiness of her breathing. She looked relaxed, I realized. More at peace than I'd ever seen her.

How would she feel about seeing me when she awoke? Would she be happy? Furious? Terrified? I didn't know. And at the moment, I really didn't care. All that mattered at the moment was that she was okay, that she was here, and that I was with her.

Kit walked into the room and took her other hand, pulling up a chair. We didn't speak. There was nothing to say.

And so we waited. I wouldn't move until she woke up. I wasn't about to make the mistake of leaving her side again.

**So? What did you guys think?  
>Soon to come:<strong>  
><strong>A warning from Kit<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**One week until _Terminal_ and I can't function.  
><strong>**Time to reply to some reviews!  
><strong>**Hailey (a guest) said: "Great Story love it please write more chapters M?"  
>I'm glad you're enjoying it! Unfortunately, there are only two more chapters left after this one. On the upside, I'm writing <em>another<em> story set in this 'universe' (I'm willing to continue writing it even after _Terminal _comes out even though it'll probably have to be AU, which I hate doing.), about another character in this particular story. But don't worry, Ben _will_ make an appearance. The 'M' in your review confuses me a little, but if you're asking me to write an M-rated fic, I might, but it'll be posted separately in the M-rated category (or else I could get suspended).  
>On with the story!<strong>

Chapter 21

Kit had left to get more coffee and to fill out some paperwork. I hadn't budged in over an hour. My eyes were glued to Tory, waiting.

"_Mmm..._"

I squeezed her hand, leaning forward. She'd been doing that for a few minutes now. She was waking up. I just wanted to see her open her eyes. Just once, so I'd know everything was okay.

I got my wish sooner than I thought I would. Her head rolled to the side and she looked at me, eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to focus. "Ben?"

"Tory," I whispered, not moving. I was terrified to touch anything other than her hand.

She blinked hard, then quickly sat up and looked around, as if she didn't know where she was. Her shoulders relaxed as she remembered. Then she turned to me. "Ben." Her voice was soft, caring. "Ben, come here."

I moved to the mattress and hugged her tightly, closing my eyes as the tears leaked out. "Tory, I'm so sorry." Even my voice was tearful.

"Ben, no. It's okay. _I'm_ okay. It wasn't your fault."

_It was too!_ I wanted to scream at her. _All of it was!_

But instead I ran a hand through her hair as I breathed her in. Her grip on me tightened and she began to cry.

"It wasn't your fault," she hiccupped. "It was his. You can't keep blaming yourself for this. You had no idea."

We cried together for several moments, holding each other as tightly as possible. Even after I had stopped, I didn't let her go because she was still crying, and because I'd been so scared that I'd never be able to feel her in my arms again.

Tory kept her face in my chest for long after her own sobs had subsided, pulling away to wipe her eyes. I got her a tissue. "Sorry," she said, wiping her face. "The anesthesia is messing with me." She hugged me again. "I'm serious, though. It wasn't your fault."

Instead of replying, I asked, "How are you feeling? Your leg, I mean."

Tory frowned. "Fine, I guess. I think I'm high on pain meds. What's the damage?"

"The bullet didn't hit any bone, but it almost got your femoral artery." I took a deep breath. "The guy knew what he was doing. Do you remember anything?"

She nodded. "He attacked me from behind, telling me that he just got out of prison and that his new buddy the Gamemaster said hello. Then he told me that he was going to make my life a living hell for the next few days, that he was going to make me beg for death." She shuddered. "I kicked him in the shins and ran, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, and he was coming towards me. Then I heard Chance's voice. And after that, I was waking up in here." I heard myself growl. She smiled wanly, placing her hand on my cheek. I kissed her palm.

"I never should've let you leave," I told her. "I should've gone after you."  
>"It doesn't matter, Ben. He would've come after me anyway. You would've just been prolonging the inevitable."<p>

"But I might've been there to-"

"Ben, it's done. It happened, and nothing can change that." She squeezed my hand, much like I had hers a little while ago. "I'm okay. I promise."

I rested my forehead against hers, meeting her eyes. She tilted her head so that her lips could meet mine.

We jumped apart at the sound of the door opening. _Just when I thought there wouldn't be any more interruptions,_ I thought bitterly.

Kit walked in, stopping in his tracks when he saw Tory, awake and sitting up in the bed. He practically tackled her in a hug. "Oh Tory, I was so worried about you! When Chance called me, I thought... Oh, Tory." He pulled away a few moments later and kissed her forehead. "Are you okay? Tell me what happened."

"I'm _fine_. Promise. Ben filled me in on everything."

He glanced at me, then did a double take. I realized how close I was to her. Our hips were almost pressed together, and our fingers were still entwined. I shifted uncomfortably, waiting for him to tell me to get the hell off his daughter.

Of course he didn't.

"I'm going to tell a nurse that you're awake. I'm sure they want to run some more tests. I'll be back in _five minutes._" With that, he left. Tory and I exchanged a glance.

"Well, then," she giggled, embarrassed. "I'm beginning to think our privacy is just about up." I frowned.

"I don't know if I like that..."

She bit her lip. "We can always sneak out..."

"After your thigh's healed."

Tory laughed. "After my thigh's healed." She slid her arms over my shoulders. "I'm glad I woke up to you, and not some stranger."

"I'm glad, too." I placed tentative hands on her waist.

"You know I'm not going to break, Ben. I just suffered an exit wound that could've potentially killed me had it been an inch more to the left, is all."

I shook my head. "How can you say something like that so lightly?"

"Because if I said it seriously, I'd probably break down." She squeezed my hand, and we lapsed into silence, just staring at each other. We didn't need to say anything. At least, not verbally. Our eyes locked and stayed that way for a long time, until Kit came back with the nurse.

She checked Tory's pulse and temperature, and asked how she was doing. Then she went to get the doctor so he could check her thigh. Kit sat down in his chair, watching Tory and me as we tried to scoot away from each other as inconspicuously as possible.

Awkward was too weak of a word for the atmosphere in the room. I was actually kind of thankful when the doctor strolled in, until he made me and Kit leave. I stood right outside the door, Kit next to me.

"So first you don't tell me you have a twin, and now you and Tory are apparently a couple. Anything else you're keeping from me?"

My face heated up and I managed an uneasy smile. _Our group of friends is infected with a mutated form of parvovirus, but that's about it._

He suddenly grew serious. "Be careful with her, Ben. Treat her with respect."

Kit was the only man in the world who could legitimately make me feel threatened. "Of course, sir."

He squeezed my shoulder. "How long has this been going on?"

"Four days."

Kit nodded, and we watched the nurses run up and down the hallways. I wondered if they'd been in such a frenzy for Tory, or if Chance had actually bought out the hospital. Had he been serious?

How far was he willing to go for her?

I squashed the jealousy that burned in my gut. _Tory's with me, not him. She's my girlfriend._

Wasn't she? I was pretty sure we'd made up. We'd just talked it out. We'd just held each other. So we were okay.

Or did she just need comfort, and I happened to be there? The meds could be messing with her mind, making her do things she wouldn't normally do.

The door opened, and I turned to see the doctor coming out of the room. His face was blank. I couldn't read him.

"How is she?" Kit asked.

"The wound looks fine. I think she's going to heal right up. However, I _am_ going to want you to watch her closely. Make sure she stays off that leg until I get the stitches out, and then I want her to stay on crutches until mid-August at least."

_She's going to hate that._

And then, a different thought entirely.

_And she's going to need someone to watch out for her._

Hey, might as well be me.

"You can go back in and see her."

I was the first one in the room. Tory looked up and smiled as I took my place back on her bed. "You missed me?" she teased.

"Terribly. What did the doc say?"

She sighed. "There's no permanent damage, as far as he can tell. But I'm going to need crutches."

"But, hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

A laugh. "I suppose." Our eyes met, and she took my hands in her own. "I think everything's going to be just fine."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

_Thank God._

"Good." My voice was barely audible. I glanced back at the door. Kit was still talking to the doctor.

"What was that?"

I turned back to Tory. A smile danced across her perfect mouth, lighting up her gorgeous eyes in a way that I'd feared I'd never see again. She'd only been awake for a short period of time, but her skin was already returning to its natural color and bearing a soft glow as her cheeks flushed.

"Good," I repeated in a whisper, leaning in and capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

**Reviews are appreciated!  
>Soon to come:<strong>  
><strong>An indirect appearance made by none other than Jason Taylor! (cue applause and cheers from the audience, maybe a few confetti cannons andor balloons)**


	22. Chapter 22

**This is for you, bookgirl, my craziest fan yet (with love, of course).  
>And it's also for Seth 8627. I feel an obligation to do what you want because I happen to love the name Seth. (Don't take that wrong.)<br>****Good news: My first paycheck came in today! Woot woot!  
>But enough of my boring life. On with the story!<strong>

Chapter 22

Tory was in the hospital for three more days. I stayed with her as often as I could, but the staff kicked me out after visiting hours. That was usually when I slept and ate. Tory didn't seem to mind having the company, and enjoyed almost every moment of it, from what I could tell. We were always holding hands or cuddling, so my worries about the potential end of our relationship were assuaged.

I got around to calling Ronnie. I told her what had happened, and she was surprisingly sympathetic to Tory's situation. And she only called her a bitch once. Maybe she was warming up to the idea of me having a girlfriend. Her case, however, seemed to worsen slightly. She had been high the last time I'd talked to her. She typically only smoked at night or in the morning. I'd called at noon. I was going to visit her soon, and hopefully get her some kind of help. But there wasn't much I could do. I was broke, her uncle didn't seem to really care about her, and both of her parents were in prison.

One thing seemed to be improving, though. My relationship with Cain. I doubted we'd ever be the best friends some brothers were, but after I decided to let go of the Affinity- _let go, _not _forgive him_- we could stay in the same room without throwing taunts back and forth. And whenever anything was said, it was always good-natured. Well, almost always. Some of his stories weren't that entertaining. He'd visited Tory in her room once, and then joked later that she'd been high on pain meds and kissed him goodbye before he left. I wasn't amused.

"Hey, I forgot to ask," Cain said from behind me as I thumbed through a magazine. "There's this guy. He came up to me in the waiting room and thought I was you. I played along for the hell of it. Anyway, he's like, super tall and muscular, and has blue eyes and light hair. What was his name? Jack? Mason?"

"Jason?"

He snapped his fingers, jumping over the couch and plopping down next to me. "Yeah, that's it. So you know him?"

"Unfortunately." I shot him a look. "What did you say to him?"

He grinned evilly. "Well, he was all like, _where's Tory_ and I said, _she's in her room, resting._"

I had a feeling he wasn't finished yet.

"And then he was all, _I have to see her. I came as soon as I heard. Which room is she in? Is she okay? Was it an exit wound?_ And all other kinds of questions like that. So I told him that I didn't think it'd be a good idea to see her. He asked why, and I said that the last thing she needed was another boy fawning over her."

"What!?"

"No, wait, it gets better. He got all up in my face, going all, _You really think right now's a good time to joke around? I'll knock some sense into you right now, Blue. My patience with you has worn thin. Let's go here and now._ And then I kind of shrugged, all nonchalant and said, _I'll pass._" He chuckled, clearly enjoying his story more than I was. "And the he was like, _What, are you afraid you're going to lose?_ And then I said, _No, it's just that my girlfriend will kill me if I beat someone senseless tonight. She's got enough shit to deal with._ And then he got super pale, and he was trying to play it cool, all like, _Oh, who's the unlucky girl? _I smiled as sweetly as I possibly could, looked him in the eyes, and said, _That would be Tory. And, if the way she reacts to me serves as proof, it's likely that she considers herself __**very**_ _lucky._ Then I stood and walked away before he had the chance to reply."

I facepalmed. "He's one of Tory's friends. If she finds out that you did that, she's going to murder me." But I couldn't help the smile. He knew she was mine now. And he hadn't been wrong about Tory reacting positively to me.

"Did I finally make you laugh?"

I gave him my best straight face. "No."

He rolled his eyes. "Only a dumbass like you wouldn't get my jokes."

"And only a jockstrap like _you_ would tell them."

Cain left the room with an exaggerated _hmmph_. I shook my head and went back to thumbing through _Musician's Friend._

My phone buzzed from the table next to me. I picked it up to see a text from Tory.

**Come outside. There's a surprise ;)**

I shook my head. What on earth was she up to _now_? Hopefully nothing that could get her into any more trouble. But I jogged down the steps and opened the door anyway.

"Hey, stranger."

I raced over to her, but didn't hug her because she was on crutches. "I thought you were supposed to check out tomorrow," I said, taking her bag from the 4Runner before Kit could grab it.

"I guess I was just such a good patient that they decided to shorten it to three instead of four days. Not that I'm complaining."

We all heard a bark, then saw eighty pounds of muscle running towards us. Whitney shrieked, but Tory just laughed. "Hey, Dogface!" she said cheerfully as Coop loped over. He sniffed at her, then whined, sitting down. He seemed to know. "Yeah, I missed you too."

"Let's go inside so you can get off your leg, hon," Kit said, waving for her to follow as he started up the drive. "Ben, you're welcome to join us. I'm sure _someone_ will need to keep that furball in check, make sure he doesn't lick Tory to death."

I met Tory's eyes, and she nodded. I got the car door and walked with her up the porch, keeping an eye on her footing, in case she fell. I could see her roll her eyes at the amount of stairs she needed to climb in order to get to her living room. Before she could start the journey, I said, "Let me carry you."

"Ben, it's fi-_ine!_" She yelped as I picked her up, mindful of her left thigh, taking care not to drop her or jostle it. "Or you can just lift me. Whatever." She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. "You're sure you can do this?"

I rolled my eyes. This was nothing. I handed her the crutches and climbed up the stairs. By the time we got to the top, I was concerned. I figured I'd get slightly winded, but I hadn't. It was like I was carrying a child. "Tory, have you lost weight?"

"Maybe a little."

"Were they feeding you enough?"

"It was more a matter of whether or not I could stomach it." She caught my look and sighed. "It was a _joke_, Ben. Hospital food? It's supposed to be super nasty. But yes, they fed me plenty. And I ate it all like a good girl."

Kit was putting pillows on the couch. His brows arched when he saw the two of us. Cooper pranced at our heels, yipping excitedly. I think he thought we were playing.

"So, Tory, you're pretty much going to be sleeping here for a while. At least, until you get those stitches out." I put her down, but kept my hands on her shoulders until she was balanced on her crutches. She went over to the couch and sat down. I unshouldered her bag and put it on the floor next to her. Coop jumped up on the couch and promptly began to lick her face. She pushed him away with a giggle, and he curled up next to her, resting his head on her lap. Kit ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I need to go to work, but call me if you need anything. I would've taken off, but-"

"It's okay," Tory said. "You can go."

"But Whitney's here, too."

Tory groaned. "And now I won't be able to escape her dress catalogues and fancy napkin design books!" She threw a grin my way. "Think it was all a conspiracy?"

The look he gave his daughter said it all. He kissed her head and nodded at me before heading downstairs. Whitney appeared out of nowhere and followed him.

"They usually take five minutes to say goodbye," Tory said sheepishly, patting the spot next to her. When I sat down, she kissed my cheek. "Now what can we do for five minutes?" She pretended to a second.

"Tory, we probably shouldn't-"

"What?" She cocked her head to the side. "Why not? The she-devil won't be back up any time soon."

"I know, but your..." I glanced down at her thigh.

She pursed her lips and placed a hand on my arm. "I'm okay, Ben."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"We can be careful." She leaned closer. "Really, really careful."

"Tory," I sighed. "We can't."

"We kissed while I was in the hospital. How is this any different?"

Now we were in a familiar setting, where it was easier to forget. When we kissed in the hospital, the smell of disinfectant spray was a constant reminder of why we were there. Now that we were at her house, the only reminder was the gauze bandage under her shorts. I'd always been afraid of losing control, even more so now.

"I can't hurt you again."

"Again?"

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "I mean, any more. Than you already are."

She scooted closer, sliding her arms onto my shoulders. "I trust you, Ben. You won't hurt me."

I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see her bite her bottom lip, which she was sure to do. "How about we compromise?" I offered.

"I'm listening."

I placed my hands on her waist, pressing my lips to hers. She smiled and tried to get closer, but I kept my arms locked, giving her a light squeeze to tell her not to. Surprisingly enough, she didn't object to the limitation. Our kiss deepened, ceasing all lip movement as our tongues danced together. One of her hands moved to cup my face. I almost moved mine around to her back, but checked myself just in time, and settled on thumb-rubbing her sides.

We broke apart, but stayed close. She rested her forehead against mine, keeping her eyes closed. "You certainly drive a hard bargain, Mr. Blue," she whispered, stealing two more quick kisses before pulling away entirely, taking my hand. "You're so protective."

"It's part of the job description," I said. "And I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I didn't do my job, right?"

She met my eyes, and then full-out beamed.

"What?"

"You know, that's the first time you've actually called yourself my boyfriend. That I know of, anyway."

I realized she was right and felt my face burn. "Well that's what I am, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly what you are. And I'm your girlfriend."

"Yes."

"Huh. I never really thought about our relationship like that. I mean, I knew we were a couple, but I don't think I've ever actually used the label." A smile. "It sounds kind of definite when you use it." Her face reddened. "Is _definite_ okay with you? I never officially asked."

_Definite is wonderful._

"Definite sounds good to me," I admitted, voice betraying more emotion than I'd have liked. Just because we were now _definite_ didn't mean I was going to turn into a softie.

"So definite it is, then." She kissed me, and it was like the one that we'd shared before I'd told her the story of my late Affinity- the same level of intimacy that filled me with longing. We only stopped because we both heard the footsteps of Whitney coming up the steps. Tory smoothed her clothes, but didn't let go of my hand. I didn't mind.

"So, Tory, Darling, I was thinking we could look through some magazines I have of- _oh!_ Mr. Blue, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. I thought you'd left." She placed a hand over her chest. Then her eyes widened as she noticed our hands. "So Kit was telling the truth... You two _are-_"

"Yes," Tory said, eyes flashing. "We are."

"And how long has this been going on?" She looked genuinely shocked, taking a seat in the chair.

"A week." She squeezed my hand and smiled up at me, as if to say, _God, what a ditz. And if you think I care what she thinks, then you're even dumber than she is._

Whitney nodded slowly. "A week." Then she snapped out of her stupor and turned to me. "Who's your mother?"

Taken aback, I answered without thinking. "Myra Blue."

"Does she work at Lowcountry?"

I nodded. "She's a nurse there."

"I know her!" Her face lit up. "She's such a delightful woman, so kind! Are you planning on going into medicine, too, Ben?"

So we were on a first-name basis now? "I was actually thinking about going into mechanical engineering."

Her delighted squeal could break glass. "How wonderful! There are so many opportunities in that field! I have a friend whose husband studied in that field and now he's making..."

I shifted uncomfortably as she babbled on. Tory looked at me and mouthed, "_Sorry." _I shrugged. Putting up with Whitney was a necessary evil, and if it guaranteed a place in Tory's life, so be it.

**D'awww.  
>Can you believe that there's only one more chapter left in this story? Does this sadden you?<br>Well do not fret, my lovely darlings! For I am going to post the first chapter of a _new_ story on Saturday! (That way I can't back out of it even after I read _Terminal_, which (fangirl moment) comes out of fricking TUESDAY! And I got retweeted by Kathy Reichs and favorited by Brendan. Yesterday was a great day to have a Twitter account. :)  
><strong>**Soon to come:  
>An unexpected surprise from Mom that's not really going to be expanded upon at all! (Cue lesser confetti cannons and maybe pop a balloon or something!)<br>**


	23. Chapter 23

**And now... for the last chapter... IN THIS STORY (dun dun dunnnnnn!)  
><strong>**I'd like to thank every single person who has ever read this or any of my other stories. Knowing that I'm posting something people not only like, but nearly _beg_ me to update (cough-cough bookgirl cough-cough), makes me the happiest fanfiction-writing maniac in the entire world (and believe me, there are plenty).  
><strong>**Further acknowledgements and important A/N down below...  
><strong>**And now, without further adieu...  
><strong>**Chapter 23!**

Chapter 23

I had to leave a few hours later. Whitney had kicked me out, claiming that she and Tory needed to have a little talk. Tory had gone pale when she said that, so I figured it'd be better if I wasn't there anyway.

Cain was waiting for me on the front porch. "Mom wants to talk to us," he said. "And I think I know what it's about."

"What?"

He glanced around, as if anyone would bother to eavesdrop. "You remember me telling you about how she's always texting someone?"

"Uh-huh." Not fazed, I tried to go inside. He stopped me.

"She went out last night and didn't come back until right before I came here."

That caught my attention. It wasn't like her to stay out all night, unless she was at work. And it wasn't her turn to take the night shift yet- she was a nurse at both Lowcountry and at Coastal Pediatric Associates. The former was a more part-time job than anything else. She mainly focused on secretarial tasks there, while she was on the floor most of the time at Coastal.

"Did she say anything?"

"Just that she'd be out late. When she came home this morning, all she told me was that she wanted to talk, and that you and I should come over around one. I think she wants us to meet her new boyfriend."

I didn't know what to think of that, so I said nothing.

"You wanna get going? It's half past noon."

"Sure." I ducked into the house and grabbed the keys to _Sewee._ She had survived the crash, miraculously, with just a few scrapes. Easy to fix. "You don't get seasick, do you?"

"You kidding? Every spring break me and my buddies would go down to the beach and sail." He arched a brow. "You're going to let me touch your precious baby?"

"I can't exactly chain you to the back and drag you along."

"Can I drive?"

"Hell no."

He rolled his eyes and said, "Can I at least sit in the co-captain's chair?"

"No." _That's Tory's seat._

"God, what a killjoy."

I rolled my eyes and pointed to the bench. He plopped down with a dramatic sigh, reminding me of Hiram. I steered _Sewee_, careful not to hit any of the rocks that were in the area. We arrived soon, and I jumped off, tying her in. Cain helped.

Mom met us at the door. She looked nervous.

"Hi, boys. Safe trip?"

I nodded, while Cain muttered a "Yeah."

She wrung her hands. "Why don't we sit down in the living room? You guys hungry? I can make just about anything. I have bread, if you want a sandwich or grilled cheese. Or if you want chicken, I have-"

"I'm fine, Ma," I said, cutting off her rambling. Something was definitely up.

She took a breath. "I'm seeing someone."

Cain nodded, as if he knew it all along. "Who is it?"

"His name is Paul." She seemed relieved that he was taking it so well. "He's a doctor."

"Where?" I asked, not quite sure how to feel, what to do.

"At Lowcountry."

My jaw clenched, my fingers dug into my leg. "A gynecologist? Is he _your_ doctor?"

She nodded. "Ben, he's very professional. Nothing has ever happened during my appointments."

I shook my head. This was so unprofessional. Not only did they work together, but he was her _doctor._ Her _lady doctor._ I didn't even want to think about that. "How long?"

"A few months. We've known each other for a few years."

"Why are you telling us now?" Cain inquired, glancing at me.

She ran a hand through her black hair. "He and I have started to get more serious."

"Does Dad know?"

She shook her head. "I don't know how to tell him."

I felt like I was betraying my father somehow. He still cared about Mom. He wasn't exactly in love with her, but it was like a part of him believed that they should have stayed together. And he felt extremely guilty for cheating on her.

He and Mom had been in the middle of a pretty big fight. He went out and then came back the next morning. I remembered how he'd smelled strange, like cheap perfume. And I remembered how Mom had cried for so long. That was when she'd started drinking. I was four. She stopped six years later, when Dad threatened to take full custody of Cain and me.

"You know he's going to find out sooner or later."

"I know." She smiled and looked at the two of us. "You know, this is the first time I've seen you two together and not fighting. You have no idea how happy this makes me." Tears welled up in her eyes as she embraced Cain, then me. I rolled my eyes. "You sure you don't want me to fix you two some lunch?"

_I swear, it's like it's her lifetime goal to make me fat._

"I'm not hungry, Ma," I said.

Cain sighed. "I'll take a grilled cheese."

Her eyes lit up as she strolled into the kitchen. "You still like tomatoes and mayonnaise on it?"

"Yup."

"Some things never change, Cainny."

"I can't believe you eat mayonnaise on your grilled cheese," I said, reaching for the TV remote and turning on the baseball game.

"I can't believe you watch baseball."

"I can't believe you used _that_ as a retort."

"Dumbass."

"Jockstrap."

* * *

><p>"I'm glad Tory's doing okay, Ben," Nancy said, jotting something down on The Clipboard. "And from what your mother's mentioned, your relationship with your brother has also improved."<p>

I nodded.

"That's very good. What changed?"

_When your girlfriend's been shot, almost everything else seems unimportant. Besides, it was nice to see Tory's face light up when she found out._ And then, of course, she said, "_I told you so_."

"How much longer will she be on crutches?"

"About a week." And she wouldn't miss them. Neither would I. Too many times had I been snapped at for 'babying' her. I just wanted to make sure she used the leg as little as possible in order to avoid unnecessary discomfort. When I'd explained that to her, she'd rolled her eyes and told me that there was a difference between 'helpful' and 'overprotective.' Then she'd sighed and told me that at least my intentions were good, but to please let her take care of herself.

Nancy glanced up for once and watched me carefully as she said, "And are you two planning to celebrate at all?"

_She'll probably want to do something. _"We might go out."

She nodded. "You two are still close?"

"Yes."

"But you're being careful."

"Yes." I was being extremely careful with her, more so than she wanted me to be. I was terrified of injuring her further, no matter how many times she insisted she was fine. That didn't mean that we hadn't spent any _quality_ time together, though.

"That's great to hear." The five minute warning went off, and she frowned. "You're starting school in a few weeks. You're going to be a senior. How do you feel about that?"

I shrugged.

"Do you know where you're going yet?"

"I applied to Trident Technical."

"And?"

I shrugged again. I hadn't gotten a response and wasn't really expecting one.

"I heard that you'd gotten a perfect score on both your ACT and SAT tests. I'm certain that they'll be impressed with that, and your grades themselves are very good."

_But I've been kicked out of a school and helped a serial killer try to kill the very people I care about above all others. Those details are hard to miss and won't really help me get in._

She must've gotten better at reading me, because she said, "Just because you've had some bad publicity doesn't mean you won't get accepted. You're highly intelligent, and a lot of schools will recognize that."

The timer went off and I opened the door. These weren't getting any easier.

"Ben, wait."

I stopped, but didn't turn.

"You _have_ shown some improvement, so I'm going to change your schedule to every other Tuesday. Keep up the good work."

_I might get out of this yet,_ I thought. _It only took ten miserable months._

"And tell your brother goodbye for me. I understand he's going back to Florida soon."

"In a week or so." It'd be nice to have peace from his dumb quips and incessant stories and jabs. Three months had been long enough. There was only so much of him I could take before I lost my mind entirely.

Nancy held out a slip of paper. "You should be almost out of your anti-depressants. I've lowered the dosage on these."

I took it from her hand. I still hadn't taken any of the other pills she'd given me. Didn't feel the need to. I was fine.

Some things never _did_ change.

**Acknowledgements:**

**My mother for putting up with my bullshit for the past nine months (I've been working on this for a while)  
>My lovely editorsbeta readers: WingedArcher01 (previously known as Virls101) and viralsisamazing, also for putting up with my bullshit for almost as long.  
>My laptop for always playing good music to write to (except for when it doesn't)<br>School for being a pain and assigning homework on the nights that I need to write.  
>My friends at school, again, for putting up with my bullshit.<br>My guitar teacher for putting up with my bullshit.  
>(There's apparently a lot of bullshit.)<br>I feel like I have to mention WingedArcher01 twice because she has been there since day one and has become so much more than an editor to me. She's easily one of my closest friends now.  
>To THIS STORY for turning out not nearly as bad as I'd feared it would be.<br>To Brendan and Kathy Reichs, for causing so much unrest among fans that we feel like we must write fanfiction to fill the void. (Seriously, though, this place is going to explode once Terminal comes out.)  
>To Google Drive, for keeping my story safe.<br>To my dog Gonzo, for all of the warm snuggles, listening to me talk to myself, and just putting up with my bullshit in general.  
>And, lastly, TO YOU GUYS! I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for you. Thank you to everyone who read and took the time to review. I love you!<strong>

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: (Important!)  
><strong>

**I am currently writing a story. (As mentioned several times before.) I'm not done writing it yet, so it will take longer for me to post. Typically when I post stories that aren't finished yet, I update every eleven days. It gives me time to write and edit while juggling this, work, and school (but I cannot argue with 16 hour work weeks because that's some nice money coming in!).  
>The first chapter will be posted THIS SATURDAY.<br>Secondly, I have some... we'll just call them 'lost chapters' that had to be cut once I ended my story early. I'll be posting them as one-shots, like a few of you had wanted. The first one will focus on Ben's relationship with Ronnie, just to give you guys an idea about her before Saturday, because she IS the central character. The one-shots won't be in chronological order of any type, but I'll probably give you a general idea of when it is if I don't think it's mentioned clearly enough in the story.**

**So feel free to review and tell me how much you hate me... you just won't be getting any virtual cookies!  
>Love y'all lots,<br>-WiccaChick98**


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